So there’s a new book out called He’s Just Not That Into You by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, and it’s a dating advice book. I read The Rules when it came out, notice I said “read”, not “committed to memory”, “bought” or even “left the bookstore with”. Let me defend The Rules as a great way to manipulate yourself into a marriage with a fellow who’s not smart enough to see through you. Anyway, He’s Just Not That Into You follows the question-and-answer formula for a relationship advice book (have I actually read enough relationship advice books to spot a formula?). In each chapter, women send in their cliched problems, author Liz commiserates, and author Greg gives his tough-love answer. It goes kind of like this:
“I went out with this boy but he didn’t call again/made me pick up the check/didn’t kiss me goodnight/took off during dinner/actually has a girlfriend/wanted to have sex/didn’t want to have sex/changed his number. What’s going on?”
“I slept with the boy but he says he can’t be together because he’s really busy at work/really busy at school/can’t leave his wife right now/is in rehab/has trust issues/is still wounded from his divorce/marriage/parents. What’s going on?”
And the answer is always:
“Because he doesn’t like you.”
This book is brilliant and I wish I’d thought of it first.