Lampreys and Roadkill

Kristine is moving out today. (Why isn’t there a picture for “Double-Plus Emoticon Frowney”?)

She got an internship in Michigan, measuring and weighing and sometimes killing lampreys. If you’re a history geek, the lamprey’s main claim to fame is causing the death of Henry I (not Henry VIII like I originally thought!), because lampreys, in their eely grossness, were a medieval delicacy and the king was little too fond of them. (I wonder if that what we’re eating at Allison’s wedding?)

If you’re Kristine, of course, you can tell a healthy eely-thing from a sick one, a male slime-creature from a female, how old they are, etc. It’s like her superpower.

I’m really sad that she and her superpowers (and her newts and her frogs) are leaving Castle Von Hoffmann. I don’t know who’s going to explain the terrifying world of biological science to me now. Who is going to watch Harry Potter movies with me now? Will I even get VCR access if there’s only me watching Harry Potter… again? And I don’t know if I’ll ever return to that Pre-Kristine state, before I paid so much attention to roadkill.

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0 Responses to Lampreys and Roadkill

  1. Jay Adan says:

    Henry I died from Lampreys. Henry VIII’s death is surrounded by speculation. He was in pretty poor health by the time he died though being grossly overweight, having extreme gout, and possibly even having Syphilus. This page (though badly coded) has a decent medical breakdown of Henry VIII –

  2. Meg says:

    I thought Henry I got killed in a joust… maybe that was Henry II?

  3. Persival says:

    You’re a blogger!?!

    I am sorta shocked/amused, but it makes sense 🙂

  4. Pingback: Simpson’s Paradox » The Lion, The Witch, and The… German Fighter Pilot?

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