Today I called my old roommate Kristine to tell her my brilliant Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince theory.
“I know who R.A.B. is,” I began, in lieu of hi or what’s up? or how have your last two months been, torturing lampreys in Michigan?.
“Who?” she says, in lieu of hello or how are you? or how have your last two months been, torturing single people in Massachusetts?.
After I told her all aspects of the theory, and we still couldn’t find any plotholes in it, I asked what she was doing when I called. She told me she was converting her truck into a movable freezer to transport dead turtles from Michigan to Massachusetts.
You see why I went straight to Harry Potter?