I watched Lord of the Rings the other day, and I started to really miss my D&D group. That’s a nerdy compliment to my RPG friends back home. And then Dave came by with Superman Returns, and even though it wasn’t so great, I started to miss playing Abberrent. Evan, my old GM, would never had allowed such a lame storyline in one of our games! Dave still owes me 5 jiao for guessing the ending.
So today, when I was in Dave’s DVD Store (Hey Nick, where is your DVD store? Is it in Kaifaqu?), and I saw the sequel to the D&D movie… I just had to pay the 5 kwai and go home to watch my gaming movie.
When will I learn my lesson about sequels? I mean, the original D&D movie was barely worth watching, and that was only because I had a crowd of nerds. This time, it was The opening sequence is a lot like the opening sequence of LOTR, only terrible. It’s almost a parody, but parodies are usually funny. Here is a sample of the narration:
I, the evil villian of this piece, am undead, which means I’m not alive any more but I’m still alive and thinking of ways to ruin the protagonists’ lives. I am after an orb of power which will enable to me CONTROL THE WHOLE WORLD!!!!
“An artifact of extreme power? I bet the GM’s girlfriend has it.” I said. My coffeetable thought this was very funny, but unfortunately it responded to this, and all my other witty comments, with resounding silence.
Then later on:
Mages like me use arcane magic, which means we study and read old books. There’s also divine magic which comes direct from the gods. I took that as my restricted school, but if I pick up the Mountain Dew for next week’s game, I bet the GM will let me.
Unfortunately I have no other quotes because I had to turn it off.