The other day, I saw some new fruit at the vendor by our house. I asked for two of the small yellow apples, so Stick and I could try the crazy new things, and the vendor started to laugh. He knew what I meant, and got them for me, but all the while laughing and telling his friend “The foreign woman says [Chinese name for not-apples]
This is what kills my Chinese learning. I saw something new, expressed what I wanted, was understood, and I STILL got laowai giggles. I may as well point and hold up two fingers.
Do what I do, pimp slap, pow tao…
then pull out yo strap,
point it to the sky,
and blast,
pa pa, pa pa, pa pa pa pa,
yeah,
Slow strobe motion,
locomotion,
inversely –
proportional to kinematic,
my automatic.
I’m seeing it,
clearly,
things shaky,
everything swirling,
and doubling, doubling my vision.
Expanding, mach banding,
Forever expansion.
Don’t you know that anything white people do is funny?