I’m still in Beijing, but I’m getting into an East Coast sleep pattern already. It comes from lying in bed wondering exactly what I’m going to do with myself next, and then waking up to an anxious countdown of time left in China. Four days, three days, two days.
I’m leaving for the US tomorrow. I finished my semester at the high school and I’ve decided not to renew my contract. A visa to stay through August, and the Olympics, would require a one-year’s contract, and I can’t bring myself to sign up for another year without Stick. Maybe this will all blow over, and he could come back in September. Maybe not. And I’m not entirely sure I want to stay dependent on short-term visas that may not be renewed.
(My school has invited me back in September, if I change my mind, overall they seemed quite relieved not to be expected to get me the promised renewal. I wonder why?)
Stick has been home for a while now, and when we talk in those odd morning-evening phonecalls, he talks about the Raleigh job market. I don’t know if that’s the next step for us. Eventually I want to settle down near family, but I don’t know if eventually is now. There are some great things back home, I’m really looking forward to reading Cosmo, eating rye bread and catching up with friends. And there are lots of jobs in exotic new places! It shouldn’t be hard to land another ESL job with a few years of experience, and I do want to keep traveling. And there’s part of me that really wants to come back to China — that would be the part of me that isn’t giving up on my Mandarin attempts!
In a few months, I’m going to be posting about how everything worked out for the best. I know part three is going to be awesome too, but right now it really sucks.