Yesterday I found the greatest pair of jeans on the irregulars rack. I guess this means I have an irregular figure because they fit absolutely perfectly. And they were $10!
This is actually not the first time I found perfectly fitting jeans for $10. Last time, I found the greatest pair of jeans in the Amherst Salvation Army.
Those were the best jeans in the world, they fit on both my waist and my hips, and I didn’t need a belt. They also had a magical property, I could sit down without showing the top of my underwear (yeah, like you all needed to know that). They were that perfect length, which never showed ankle and never dragged on the ground. They had magical flares that worked with boots and sneakers. And because they were secondhand they were already broken in so they were comfortable the first day!
One day, I wore my amazing jeans to my college job in the bookstore, where Mona, another employee, greeted me with “Oh, I didn’t know Jordache Jeans were still in style! I thought no one wore those anymore! Didn’t they go out in the eighties? You must have been about six when they were out of fashion!”
I wore those Jordache jeans almost every day until they wore out, but I kind of wonder if I need to cut the labels off my new jeans in case I’m walking around with another fashion faux pas.