Wolverine

Going into a superhero movie, we all know that we have to suspend our disbelief just a little bit more, but ill-defined powersets abound in the new X-Men Origins. Really, how many extra-strong, invulnerable guys with extendable knuckle claws can one movie hold?

Still, I like the X-Men premise, and I enjoyed going. There were good scenes with brooding, thoughtful Wolverine, some more about his past, and an interesting look at Stryker as well. Stryker’s evil plan is to round up all the mutants and create Sylar, I mean, Weapon Eleven, a superpowered mega-mutant combining all the other mutants’ powers into one.

Weapon Eleven is controlled by text commands. Do you see why this would be is a bad idea? I imagine it turning out like an old text game.

Stryker: Shoot

Weapon 11: I don’t have a target to shoot.

Stryker: Wolverine

Weapon 11: What do you want me to do to Wolverine?

Stryker: Shoot Wolverine

Weapon 11: With what?

Stryker: Shoot Wolverine with gun

Weapon 11:  This gun isn’t loaded.

Stryker: Load gun with ademantium bullets

Weapon 11:  I don’t have any ‘ademantium’.

Stryker:  Adamantium bullets

Weapon 11:  What should I do with the adamantium bullets?

At which point Stryker would say something foul, and Weapon Eleven would ask if he kisses his mother with that mouth, and then Stryker would have no choice but to go down and shoot Wolverine himself. That’s what he ends up doing, so the frustrating text-based game bit probably just got cut  out for time. Maybe it’ll be a bonus scene on the DVD.

These adamantium bullets are a special mind-erasing attack, since Wolverine can’t actually be killed. it’s a good thing that the bullets hit only Wolverine’s memories, and not, say, the part of the brain that controls his reflexes or bladder control. It seems kind of silly to wipe a guy’s memories and then turn all we-meet-again mysterious later, but it might be part of a sinister plot.

I think the greatest X-Men storyline would just be all the mutants hanging around at mutant school, using their powers to do everyday things. A high school drama with superpowers. So I was pretty disappointed that once the trapped mutants were rescued, we didn’t get a cool ensemble, they weren’t even all named. (Speaking of the rescue: Seriously? A room full of assorted mutant superpowers and they were all thwarted by chicken wire? Nobody had any laser powers or teleport or superstrength? Hmmm.)

There are small continuity errors in all prequels, and since I like the X-Men stories in general, I’ll try to get around them. Cyclops was rescued from evil Stryker’s secret lair by Wolverine, but later, in the first X-Men movie, he has no memory of Stryker or Wolverine? He must have gotten shot in the head with adamantium mind-erasers too.

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0 Responses to Wolverine

  1. Bill says:

    Wait! Does Weapon 11 have a Twitter feed?

  2. Meg says:

    Weapon11: Striker said the funniest sdagggggggvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

    Weapon11: Sorry, accidentally activated my knuckle sword there.

  3. Wabres says:

    So, you find it surprising that the drugged, tazed and blindfolded Scott Summers dowsnt remember the 1 minute interaction with Stryker or the 30 seconds of wolverine screaming and slashing? :p

  4. Meg says:

    A guy with retractable wolf claws cuts open his cage and frees him. Later, a guy with retractable wolf claws and no memory shows up at Prof. Xavier’s school. Are the wolfie claws so common that he doesn’t make the connection?

    Although you’re right about part of it, Cyclops might not actually know he’s in Striker’s secret lair or that Striker’s behind all the mutant kidnapping.

  5. Kevin says:

    Maybe Cyclops got Wolverine confused with one of the other guys with retractable body weapons! Dumb that he doesn’t remember Wolverine later.

    Not my favorite movie because just like you said, prequels always open up more plotholes.

  6. Kevin says:

    Oh, and your Weapon 11 tweets are awesome.

  7. Stuart says:

    Cyclops didn’t actually see Wolverine; he was blindfolded after all. If I recall, Wolverine opened up the cages and told his girlfriend to get everybody out. Worked for me.

  8. Meg says:

    Did I imagine the part where Wolverine pulls out his claws and runs between the cages, slicing them open? I know Scott has a wild life but that seems like something one would remember. Maybe he was so distracted by having Prof. X talk in his head that he never thought about how he escaped.

  9. Stuart says:

    You didn’t imagine it, but why would he remember Wolverine from that? He didn’t SEE him.

    Scott: What’s that noise?
    Cellmate: Some dude is opening up all the cages?
    Scott: Really? Awesome! Let’s get the frak out of here.

    How does that event equate having met Wolverine in a manner that would necessarily mean that Scott would remember him later? We have no reason to believe that anyone explained anything about what had happened to him in any specific detail. You talked about suspending disbelief; this is one of those situations where you really need to let that kick in, I think.

  10. Shenme? says:

    So funny! Can’t believe I missed this one!

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