Orchid Insurance

Orchid I’ve never made it to the top of the Gardening skill track in the Sims, but I’m pretty sure that the top proficiency is “Meg’s Granny” skill level. At this proficiency level, you use a stick to stake an amaryllis, and the stick grows. True story.

Unfortunately, I didn’t exactly inherit that. I still love picking out plants, I love the heavy moist air in greenhouses, the smell of potting soil and mulch, and all the trays of pale-green seedlings. After careful consideration of all the potted flowers, I settled on an orchid, beautiful and delicate, with the added benefit that they crack me up, in a etymology kind of way.

“These are guaranteed easy orchids!” the checkout girl said. Picture someone who gives 115% effort, and who wears extra pieces of flair.

“Well, easy for some people.” I said.

“No, I mean, there’s a store guarantee. For a year! Just bring back the dead plant and the receipt!”

“Are you absolutely sure?  Hardy plants turn into withered brown stalks around me. I buy plants as a symbol of boundless optimism in the face of insurmountable odds.”

“For a replacement if we have another in stock, or a giftcard for the full value so you can buy a new flower!”

I have high hopes for my pretty new flower, but I also have the receipt in an envelope marked orchid insurance.

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0 Responses to Orchid Insurance

  1. Selena Kyle says:

    hahaha, I'm afraid of houseplants, but I have similar feelings about cooking, baking, and other womanly things with which I am mostly inept. oh, and speaking of Etymology… I remember taking that class with you a million years ago back at MHS. To this day, I get annoyed when people say 'FOR-TaY' unless they're talking about music. (wink back if you remember why)Good luck with the flower, Meg, and to the orchid 'my prayers are with you!'

  2. Meg Stivison says:

    Cooking, ok. I like to eat, so I like to make good things to eat! But things that require maintenence, like plants, a clean house, CHILDREN, etc. are not exactly my forte (You see what I did there?!?). Hopes are not high for this orchid, but it's pretty now.

  3. Selena Kyle says:

    hey, I've kept my kids alive… they don't mind that the smoke alarm goes off several times a week when I try something new… well… it startles Toby but I think he's getting used to it… Abigail did eventually, hehe. But I hear you on the clean house thing… *glances around the room at an enormous pile of clean laundry waiting to be folded and put away, stack of mail at the foot of the couch piling up since Saturday, and childrens toys strewn about* but at least we don't have rats or roaches! I guess it's not TOOOO bad. Well, we get rid of cable tomorrow morning so I guess that'll be one less excuse!

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