My girlfriend Allison tipped me off to The Doubleclicks‘ song Oh Mr. Darcy, and after laughing hysterically, I tracked down a physical copy of their CD, Beta Testing 1-2-3, for my cousin Andrea. (Hard copies of CDs are charmingly retro, don’t you think? Or have I been drinking the hipster water here in Brooklyn?) The distributor, CD Baby, sent me a response the next day.
Your CD has been gently taken from our CD Baby shelves with sterilized contamination-free gloves and placed onto a satin pillow.
A team of 50 employees inspected your CD and polished it to make sure it was in the best possible condition before mailing.
Our world-renowned packing specialist lit a local artisan candle and a hush fell over the crowd as he put your CD into the finest gold-lined box that money can buy.
We all had a wonderful celebration afterwards and the whole party marched down the street to the post office where the entire town of Portland waved “Bon Voyage!” to your package, on its way to you, in our private CD Baby jet on this day, November 29, 2011.
Portland is odd.