The other day, I had my students make menus and play restaurant. I’d put them in groups and let the kids choose whether to be waitstaff or customers, polite or rude. Usually this class is le tired, so I was quite pleased to see the kids create roles as flamboyent European maître d’s or bored, gum-snapping waitresses.

I was walking around the room, proud of my awesome ESL lesson, when my friend Lynn sent a mayday text asking where a friend of hers could find, um, certain Western feminine products in Beijing. I immediately texted back subway directions, with the additional notes about the secret DVD shop in the basement of a menswear shop nearby.

I have a unique skillset.

From the blog Simpson's Paradox, please comment here:

Talented

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I’m teaching at an ESL summer camp for the next two weeks. This school is as poorly organized as a typical Chinese “English center”, which allows me to test my theory that I would absolutely love that life, if only I could eat decent food after a crazy day. And it’s perfect for me right now, the epic rawness of teenage emotions (Teenagers, Cicero and Meg love the superlative), working with other ESL adventurers, and complete, bone-aching exhaustion at the end of the day.

A new group of students was dropped on me the other day, so I set them up to play Who Do You Love?, my go-to game for surprise classes. After a few minutes of dead, sleepy stares, the teenagers caught on and were soon tormenting their classmates and testing the limits of appropriate classroom vocab.

“I love people who wear thongs!”one of the boys called out.

I was halfway through my lecture on appropriate classroom vocab when I realized they’ve got a British English textbook, and everyone but me thought we were talking about flip-flops.

From the blog Simpson's Paradox, please comment here:

New Material

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Playing Fantasy University reminded me of how much I enjoyed text-based adventure games. Not that FU is entirely text based, just the the quest texts and item descriptions are meant to be read.

I checked out Choice of Dragon, a free text-based adventure game  for a web browser or iToy.  The multiple-choice interaction gave me the opened-ended storyline I loved in text games, without the turn-key-in-lock frustrations of a game that parses text entry. (Hey, I wasn’t THAT nostalgic) You play as a dragon in a generic fantasy land, full of princesses to capture (or princes, your dragon can be an equal-opportunity kidnapper), adventuring parties to torment, and treasure to steal.

CoD is a solid IF game. Engaging descriptions of scenes and character never become long-winded. The story uses fun fantasy stereotypes, without going into the complete parody in Fantasy University or Kingdom of Loathing, and uses light sarcasm, but never takes on the unhelpful DM’s tone from Zork or Adventure. The game is fairly short, but reading the game is such a delight, it’s practically impossible not to play through a few times for different stories.

Each decision players choose has an in-game effect. You can fight or flee, split the booty or turn on your ally for the whole thing. Burning the village increases your infamy and treasure hoard, while letting the villagers live as your vassals increases your honor. Your stats continue to affect your abilities and choices, giving you more story options and personalization.

The game could be improved with a way to save the game. At several interesting crossroads,  I was sorry I could not travel both / and be one traveler, long I stood / and looked down one as far as I could. What works in poetry could be greatly improved with a saveslot. Right now, an incomplete game is stored for further progress next time, but there’s no way to return to a particular place besides restarting the game and trying to make all the same choices to lead back to that point. Knowing how way leads on to way, it’s a poor solution that could be solved with an option to save the game.

Choice of Broadsides, another similar game from Choice of Games, won my love with a choice of gender. Some games give you a female avatar, or swap some pronouns around to make the ladies feel at home, but CoB creates a world when young ladies sail the high seas and young gentlemen are sweet domestic angels. You encounter mutinous sailors, brave enemies and honorable sea captains, all female. Later, when one of your salty companions suggests you marry, and give yourself an attractive mate and the comforts of home life, you can choose a husband from an array of accomplished young gentlemen.

I didn’t enjoy the naval adventure quite as much the fantasy one, partly because I’m more of a princess-capturer than a vessel-seizer. I also felt like there were some choices that could be made in CoBroadsides that were just wrong, that in certain crossroads there was a distinctly correct and incorrect choice to be made, while in CoDragon I felt like different dragons and different choices led to different but equally valid stories.

If you also have fond memories of text-based games, both games are available online here or on the App store.

From the blog Simpson's Paradox, please comment here:

Choice of Dragon

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In the novel The Light Of Other Days, sci-fi great Arthur C. Clarke posits a future where a new technology means anyone can see what anyone else is doing. Any past antics are available for review by any future employers, future spouses, and, when a former kegstander or topless party girl achieves a respectable career, any high-minded rivals can see any youthful indiscretions. We may not have time-traveling wormhole technology quite yet, but now that every college kegger and ill-advised hookup is instantly documented by cameraphone to Facebook, Twitter, and blogs, our lives are increasingly on display.

In the age of googling prospective hires and prospective dates, we are increasingly tied to our online past. With online archiving, our names could be forever linked to a bad review, a high school manifesto, an embarrassing photo or whatever pieces of our past generated the most traffic. Let’s hope it’s not an inadvertent appearance on the Fail Blog.

Omnipresent social media brings the public into our lives. For every Dooce who turns an inappropriate blog overshare into a career and a book deal, there are hundreds of red-faced Twitterati, and Facebookers untagging photos. And, although Cosmo suggests sending your man racy texts or naughty photos to spice up a relationship, I imagine that a certain ex-Miss California wishes she’d skipped that issue. Ex-Miss California, Carrie Prejean, came under fire for her comments on gay marriage, and then again when her fledgling career as a Christian spokeswoman fell apart when a solo sex tape sent to an ex-boyfriend surfaced. But is this outrageous hypocrisy, or just a young girl’s normal identity experimentation?

It is the public knowledge of one’s private affairs that turned Monica Lewinski, a girl who, like most of us at the same age, hooked up with a desperately inappropriate partner, into a girl whose name is now synonymous with blowjob. (As I write this, I shudder to think what that word will do to my contextual ads)

Our first reaction to this kind of story is to wonder how she could be so stupid. How could Prejean think she could make it as a Christian, conservative spokesmodel with a sex video in her past? And for Christian spokesmodel and sex video, feel free to read Olympic athlete and bong, or prince of England and Nazi Halloween costume, or… well, you get the picture. Now that all of our actions are blogged, tagged and digitally archived for social media posterity, it seems that the prereq for a later career as a teacher, politician, pastor, lawyer, or anything other than D-list sex tape celeb, is never having made a youthful mistake.

One frequently suggested solution, then, is not to take photos, not to share them, and certainly not to blog and tweet about our exploits. Would-be staffers for Obama were asked to share their blog URLs and social media aliases to spare the president any future embarrassment. Even small-time bloggers have to weigh the benefits of a post venting about the boss or the in-laws, with the consequences of having that post read. Solidarity and support through comment validation, or an awkward Thanksgiving dinner when that post is mentioned? Social media allows us to connect and share our thoughts, but like anything in print, blog posts, Facebook updates and hastily-written tweets can come back to haunt their writers.

Do we all have to give up blogging, building a group scrapbook of shared photos on Facebook or Flickr, mugging for the ever-present iPhone camera, in short, give up sharing and recording our lives? Must we live the unexamined life to have any chance of future success?

In The Light Of Other Days, Clarke’s society grows to accept that their lives are constantly on view by any interested party. After an initial reaction of repression — that would be the sci-fi version of deleting your profiles, making dual Facebook accounts, or coming up with a clever code name to keep your work-hating tweets from your boss’s eyes — society learns to accept the new intimacy.

Once everyone has a burn box of our embarrassing moments digitally archived and publicly accessible, will it even matter anymore? And, once there really is an society-wide expectation of archived and accessible chitchat, could work-related tweets lead to a new honesty? (I mean, corporate management can’t really think that wageslaves are loving their hours in front of the fryer or ringing a register, and honest discourse could do a lot for employee retention and job satisfaction.)

When the Facebook and Twitter generation becomes the human resources department, the hardhitting journalists and the clergy of the future, we will see a shift towards acceptance of social media consequences. Maybe a silly drunken photo or a blog overshare is only an embarrassment while there are people without any net records of their own coming-of-age.

From the blog Simpson's Paradox, please comment here:

Of Other Days

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When I went to Bethie’s graduation last month, Anna Quindlen was the commencement speaker. (I know this is not exactly timely, but it took me a while to get my thoughts into a coherent shape) I was really excited to hear her, actually I was more excited about Anna Quindlen than I would have been about last year’s speaker, Obama. All due respect to my Twitter buddy Barack, but I was deeply affected by Object Lessons long before I even knew Obama’s name. I bought Blessings at the bookstore in Wangfujing last year, when English books were a rare and expensive luxury.

Quindlen’s speech at Wesleyan was a call to action, it was what every new graduate should hear. It was a reminder that finishing college is more than a piece of paper and a pile of student debts. It was great to be around New England liberals again. People who think global warming is real, our natural resources are finite, and it would be great if all Americans had healthcare.

One of the hardest things about being in North Carolina is the chitchat minefield. I often hear that global warming is a natural phenomenon, nothing to do with us, or that last year was so unseasonably cold that climate change can’t possibly exist. It felt really nice to be surrounded by educated and liberal young people, especially as they were being called upon to go forth and save the world!

Quindlen also praised this generation for changing attitudes towards gender and racial relations,  and wow, Quindlen is a great public speaker. But my idol suddenly had feet of clay when Quindlen threw in the obligatory Simpsons reference, that hallmark of a professor trying to show they’re young and hip. Don’t show me you’re hip, professors, show me you’ve read more books than I’ve heard of.

In the midst of calling on the new graduates to solve illiteracy problems, build a lifestyle not based on debt, and stop climate change, she exhorted them to make movies that weren’t comic book spin-offs. I believe this was meant as a reference to Wesleyan’s film school, but it sounded as through trashy movies are on a par with the destruction of the environment. So Wolverine and Watchmen aren’t great art (not like The Simpsons) but I don’t know if a predictable plot is on quite the same level as finite resources.

There was another odd moment, when in the midst of praising social change and technical progress, Quindlen stopped to question whether Twitter would be “dopey haiku for the mini-mind”. I’m so pleased that Twitter is on the scene now, taking the pressure off blogs. All the complaints once thrown around about blogs are now directed towards Twitter, as if the desire to connect with others and to share experiences is something frivolous and new.

You write about your daily life and your thoughts on the internet? How narcissistic! No one cares what you think! Why would anyone read that! And what about internet privacy? Anyone could come by and read it! I can’t believe you’d waste time writing and sharing your thoughts!

I’m going to be happy when Flutter comes out and Twitter gets a rest.

The speech really captured how I see Wesleyan. Liberal, world-changing, brilliant, moving, with just a tiny little reminder that Wes is better than plebs with stupid hobbies.

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Wesleyan Commencement Speech

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At Wesleyan, visiting my sister’s lab.

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Visiting Bethie

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As months go by, I’m getting more and more soured on the endless parking lots here, opening into shopping or office complexes and strip malls without sidewalks, a city designed for a life like that of the old Peking emperors, where our feet never touch the ground. My wanderlust is frustrated by roads that don’t actually go places, cutely named loops with housing cul-de-sacs on either side. Cary makes all these lists of the nicest places to live in the US, which reminds me that this suffocating sameness I feel is not you, it’s me.

I try to focus on the things I like here. Working in the Chocolate Bean, good meals at Bosphorus and Unaabi Grill, the Middle Earth poster in my boss’ office, my wonderful students, driving past Awesome Street, walking around Hoffman Lake (yes, that’s the real name!). Playing with Isabelle. Our apartment, a happy bubble of Meg and Stick. The simple enjoyment of English conversation hasn’t entirely worn off yet.

And I like the little town library here. It’s between the school and the train station, across from the post office, an ESL lesson come to life. This is also, perhaps not so coincidentally, one street that’s good for foot traffic. I love reading the liberal bumper stickers and seeing the reusable book bags.  I remind myself to really enjoy the easy access to English books now, because I hope I’ll soon be missing them again.

From the blog Simpson's Paradox, please comment here:

Checking Out At The Library

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A few nights ago, we had our newish friends Monty and Lynn over to play Arkham Horror. Monty works with Stick, and I’ve hung out with his friend Lynn a few times outside of our D&D game. I guess they’re more acquaintances, but, hey, socializing with people in North Carolina, outside of Stick’s family! (I love the Malavettes, but they’re obligated to put up with me.)

Arkham Horror is a complicated boardgame based on HP Lovecraft stories, where players play against the game, not against each other. It’s got a good story and characters, with a strong random element, and a lot of resource management. It’s a bit like Betrayal At The House On The Hill, although not enough like it to make up for Betrayal House going out of print. We played over two evenings, and when we finished on the second night it wasn’t too late.

“What about a quick game of Axis and Allies?” Stick said. He has a special super-deluxe exclusive edition where you can manage everything, down to what color socks your troops are wearing.  He loves this game, I think he’d sleep with it under his pillow, but it’s the opposite of quick.

Although Stick has a lot of games, we decided on a quick round of Uno, out of my ESL materials box, since it wouldn’t require any time to set up or explain the rules.

Our quick game turned into the longest Uno game in the history of the planet.

Somehow we all ended up with huge hands, while the pool of drawable cards dwindled. No one was going to be able to call Uno! But this was a group of players amused by statistical possibilities, so we tried to see if we’d break the game by playing only draw cards, creating a smaller and smaller pool of cards with a higher and higher proportion of draw cards. While shouting Trienta y nueve! or Veinticuatro! to break up the card-drawing monotony.

I think that means we’re friends now.

From the blog Simpson's Paradox, please comment here:

Record-Breaking Uno

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I have a review of the addictive little browser game Travians up over on SeeJaneGame:

The game opens with a message from your Travian’s uncle Horatio, asking you to come and help him with the ancestral estate. As he sends you on basic intro quests, it becomes apparent that Uncle Horatio has had a few drinks in his day, and that the ancestral estate is more of a run-down farmhouse. Uncle Horatio’s hiccups and rambling tales set the tone for the game, everyone in Travians is full of character. Some of the first NPCs you meet are a sheep-loving, Horatio-hating guard and a travel pig with memory issues.

Via Travians: Asterix meets The Sims | See Jane Game.

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Travians on SeeJaneGame

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Although I was super excited to get my review copy of the Princess Bride game, I wasn’t sure whether I would automatically like this game because it’s based on the Princess Bride, or hate it because it’s based on the Princess Bride but different. (see also: why I dislike movies based on books I liked)

The Princess Bride Game is divided into 5 games, separated by the grandfather’s narration and animated cutscenes from the movie. The first one, As You Wish, is absolutely brilliant. You play as Wesley, doing farm chores. Your time management objectives are interrupted when Buttercup shows up and wants you to do something for her. I’ve always though Buttercup was kind of a pain with her imperious requests, so the game was true to the spirit of the movie and fun to play.

In the second part, players match wits with Vizzini. The difficulty level reminded me that I’m playing a kids’ game. While you play, Vizzini shout funny insults at you. Wallace Shawn — the actor who made “Inconceivable!” famous — is actually the voice actor here, which makes it really better. I was really impressed with the voice talent that Worldwide Biggies got, including Mandy Patinkin and Robin Wright (Penn).

The third part was the Fireswamp, which was my least favorite part of the movie and, coincidentally, my least favorite minigame. I’m not really into the whole genre of jumping and hitting gems for points. Arcade-style Wesley and Buttercup were cute, but not cute enough to make this part fun. I also don’t like that Wesley gets the sword and Buttercup can, um, jump high. I tried to use it as a combat jump but an ROUS bit me.

The fourth part is a visit to Miracle Max, a hidden objects game (of the good secret-clues variety) and a potion-mixing minigame. On the first level, this was so unchallenging that it was almost boring, but later on I started to feel like I was brewing in Snape’s class. Miracle Max and As You Wish are both worth playing long after you’ve completed the objectives, even if Miracle Max did sound like someone attempting a Billy Crystal impression.

The final game, Storming the Castle was a letdown. The challenge is to re-watch the intro and outro movies and look for specific items to build a Rube Goldberg seige engine. You’re given the outline of the item, and you need to add it to your inventory. Maybe if I hadn’t played the game in one sitting (and if I hadn’t seen the movie a billion times), I’d have liked the story recap, but instead I felt like I was being forced to watch cutscenes in a mode that’s least conductive to enjoying their art.

Overall, As You Wish is the strongest section in this casual adventure game. Without the Princess Bride connection, some parts of the game would be average casual games (the Fireswamp being a particularly weak spot), but the playing as dear Princess Bride characters kept me entertained.  The Princess Bride Game keeps all the charm and appeal of the fantasy romance we loved in the book and the movie.

From the blog Simpson's Paradox, please comment here:

Princess Bride Game

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