Dear TurboTax,
Thank you for making my taxes kind of annoying instead of a total nightmare. Sure, it cost most of my tax return to pay for the TurboTax version for under-employed freelancers, but that’s fine. You made it easier to turn a stack of 1099s and scribbled receipts into the single-digit check I’ll be receiving [...]
The other day, Stick saw my throwing-star picture and called me “the worst ninja ever”. Turns out, I’m not even the worst ninja in Essex county.
CLIFTON — Two “modern day Ninjas” calling themselves Shinobi Warriors on a quest to rid the area of drug users and drug dealers have been put out of business by [...]
Dear Hugo and Diana,
Don’t forget that all traffic signs and road markings are purely decorative and should never be used as a guide when assessing traffic patterns.
Love,
Meg
In Beijing, it’s hard to get away from the Olympic improvements. I think the changes are somewhere between using the good china for company, and completely reinventing your wardrobe, habits and personality to attract some guy from history class. (Not that I ever did that) I’m seeing more and more English around town, and English-language [...]
“When we first started dating, did you ever think we’d go on a romantic date to McDonalds?” Stick asked me. We were in line at the Kan Dan Qiao 24-hour McDonalds, getting milkshakes in what is likely to become a usual Saturday-morning activity for us. (I also got a Happy Meal so I could [...]
Stick got me a toaster oven for Christmas! I hope he knows this is only romantic in China, and I’m not in for a lifetime of yuletide appliances. He hid it from me in the closet, which is a perfect place to hide things from me because I never put any laundry away. Actually I [...]
We were drinking coffee in the office this morning, just before my first class, when I asked my TA to make sure the kids had their markers today. I asked the kids to bring them yesterday, but they’re only 5 so they forget.
“Oh, last night we took the desks out of the English room,” [...]
My home state, New Jersey, warns locals not to eat squirrels from the toxic dump.
A lead-contaminated squirrel was found in the area two months ago, prompting the agency, along with the state Department of Environmental Protection, to send out letters advising that adults eat squirrel no more than twice a week and even less for [...]
Most nights, I go to dinner with my co-worker, Zorro. (Dave, we miss you!) He’s really fun, loves talking about our students, and he’s been really helpful with my Chinese. Of course, when we go out, no one will listen to my Chinese.
Waitresses can understand my halting Chinese when Zorro’s not there, but when [...]
Apparently, you can make a name for yourself on MySpace. And that name can have as many capital letters as you want.
ForBiddeN is a MySpace user, who posts naked pictures and semi-naked pictures, as well as offering her own desktop wallpaper, screensaver and clothing line. And now, she’s going to be in Playboy!
This [...]
