Best Asian Diarist

Posted on August 31, 2006 by Meg

I was nominated as Best Asian Diarist on the Asia Blog Awards! It’s awesome to see that people are reading and liking my blog and it’s not just Stick hitting refresh to inflate my counter and make me happy.

I checked out the other nominations, and I think I’m addicted to Domain Maximus. His travel adventures, discriptions of normal Indian life and nerdy musings are so funny, although I have to admit that most of the Indian politics go right over my head. Some of what he says about Hindi remind me of my disasterous attempts to speak Mandarin.

Then there is the merciless use of emphasis to add a little twist into an already infuriating language. How many mallus have been laughed at for downing a few drinks, raising there arms and singing out loud “Khajra Re” instead of “Kajra Re”. Oh yes and we can never get enough of the “Hahahah he said KANA instead of KHANA…” little witticism. That pronounciation will be the end of me. I have often made my maid at home think she is a close male relation. She burns the dal when I do that.

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Playing With My Kids

Posted on August 30, 2006 by Meg

I plaed a game of Scattergories with my kids the other day. If you’re not familiar with Fresca’s favorite party game, players have a list of categories like “fruits”, “countries” or “movie stars” and you have to think of something for each category that begins with a choosen letter. You’re trying to think of something that no one else wll pick, so instead of saying “D is for dog”, you should think D is for dinosaur or dingbat.

I came up with some broad categories like Foods, Countries or Cities, Something in your bedroom and Something Hot. After about twenty minutes of explanation, which was not so much explaining the rules but explaining that no, I’m not going to lecture while thay take an eyes-open nap, we started to play.

My Korean students play a game on break that’s a bit like the free-association game my sister and I played on car trips. One person says a word like “banana” and everyone else must quickly say one word relating to bananas. But the object is to get the same answer as everyone else — if everyone says “yellow” and you say “monkey”, you lose. The loser gets laughed at if I’m in the room and – I think – pinched if I’m not.

So it was a bit difficult to explain that for Scattergories, the ovject is to think of a word no one else has. Actually, in my class the object was to think up as many words as possible that no one else had. They stared at me, unwilling to play, because I’d destroyed the principles of groupthink AND challenged their classroom role as comatose listeners.

But some of them got into it. For every girl silently critiquing my outfit and twisting her hair, there was one who shyly asked “England. Egypt. Is Equator a country? Because I think I saw it on a map.” For each boy disassembling his pen and watching the clock, there was one showing surprising vocabulary skills and shouting “Anaconda! Anteater!”

Some of them began to understand my broader categories. Kim made quite a good case for Egypt being hot and Hannah for Boys being animals. But it was when Stephen said “Magic cards” would be found in his bedroom that I realized what an influence I have on these kids.

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Immoral Foreign Blogger (No, not me)

Posted on August 29, 2006 by Meg

The PRC has recently seen fit to lift the Blogger and Blogspot ban in China. This has led to a lot of changes in the China expat blog world… not the least of which is that now I can see my blog and edit my typesetting, spelling and pictures much more easily.

But this also means that Chinese readers can now read the Sex In Shanghai guy. Most of us have already looked at Sex In Shanghai because it’s #1 on the China Blog List. It’s about a foreign “teacher” juggling his relationships, dates and one-night-stands, often with his students.

He’s bugged me for a while because a teacher just shouldn’t take advantage of his students that way, even if they are 18 and it’s not technically illegal. I also think kissing and blogging is kind of lame, especially with notes about each girl’s sexual performance! I can’t totally hate him because he does prove my theory that 50% of teenage girls in China are named Sunny and Lily, and the other 50% call themselves things like River, September or Heaven.

Anyway, now that Blogspot/Blogger is accessible from China, the Chinese can read all about his escapades. And Chinese readers are furious.

Here is EastSouthNorthWest’s translation of the call to eliminate the “immoral foreign blogger”. (The real post is here, but it’s in Chinese) There are also various death threats towards the Sex in Shanghai guy floating around the blog world.

The PRC was right. Everyone really was much happier with a censored ‘net.

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The Elevator Doesn’t Reach The Top Floor

Posted on August 29, 2006 by Meg

I just read Nick’s brilliant post about Chinese Elevator Logic and it’s so true and so funny and the odd-number/even-number thing has happened to me SO many times that I don’t even notice it. There is nothing I can say to improve on this post.

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Bethie’s Artwork

Posted on August 27, 2006 by Meg

Other people would just say “Meg, I broke your hanger” but my sister? She makes existentialist artwork and explains it in great detail.

My sister left for America today, but her artwork will remain in my apartment for months to come!

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The End of E3?

Posted on August 27, 2006 by Meg

I’m late on this news, living in China and all, but E3 as we know it is over. I kind of imagined E3 as a nerds-only fashion week, with all kinds of gamers, developers and game journalists crawling out into the light for a few days of meeting and new game demos. But it seems like getting out an E3 build of this year’s in-progress games is costing time and productivity.

I’m really sad to read this. It means the end of my dream to become an E3 booth babe! Ok, so I don’t know if I could fill out the required chainmail bikini but it would be awesome to go. I wonder if E3 will tone down and disappear, or if the game industry needs the publicity and networking.

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Beijing Mecca

Posted on August 26, 2006 by Meg

I really wanted to go see the Niu Jie mosque in Beijing, mostly because I was curious what Chinese-Muslim architecture would look like. It was on my list of cool places places to see when I went to Beijing with Fresca and Jeff, and with Stick, but we ended up not making it either time because Beijing just has so much stuff to see and do. But this time, Bethie and I stayed in a hotel that looked like it was pretty close to the mosque and we decided to stop by. Besides, I wanted to try out my newfound ability to ask “Niu jie zai nali?” (Where is Cow Street?).

It’s an active mosque, so we weren’t allowed to go inside the prayer hall. It was pretty cool to hear the prayers and peek inside the main hall. Unfortunately, like most of Beijing, it was under construction, so I climbed up this tower. Bethie’s at the bottom here because she didn’t want to climb it. I think if there’s nothing blocking the stairs, it must be safe, right?

Actually it was pretty warm that day but I put on wrap on because I didn’t want to tempt the faithful with my demon flesh. Very considerate of me, wasn’t it?

We soon learned the reason it’s called Cow Street. Muslims are forbidden to eat pork, and, as my adventures with Dave have shown me, pork is a major part of most Chinese meals. And next to the mosque, was an entire street of butcher shops, presumably to serve beef to the local Muslims.

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Drum Tower

Posted on August 24, 2006 by Meg

We went to the Drum Tower and climbed some more steep stairs. At the top, we saw an awesome show on huge old drums. (yes, that is the technical name for them)

Unfortunately, Bethie couldn’t perform her solo here.

There was also a shop. To me, it was a bunch of vendors selling the same touristy stuff as everywhere else, but Beth seemed to have a really good time shopping for her friends and browsing the artwork. An example of how long I’ve been here, I suppose.

The vendors were giving her the “I make cheaper for you” spiel and then knocking 10 RMB off the inflated foreigner price. Bethie feels really uncomfortable bargaining, and I sort of understand. I used to feel weird about it too, but now that I’m getting paid in a Chinese salary, I feel differently. Also I take a bin lao wai price as a personal insult.

Then we walked through one of the hutongs. We found a street vendor selling naan pancakes and lamb and fried vegetables, and we bought some and sat on some steps to eat. I’d been trying to show Bethie some of the great restaurants I know in Beijing, but she was actually really happy eating street food in the hutong.

Me trying to assimilate and succeeding as well as I usually do in China.

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Honesty Is Never The Best Policy

Posted on August 21, 2006 by Meg

My sister and I were talking about the shades of gray in Chinese honesty. In just the last few weeks, she’s already been witness to quite a lot of what we in America might describe with the local idiom “lying through one’s teeth.”

It’s pretty common to be told that what you want is out of stock when it clearly isn’t. Quite often mei you means “your bad Chinese is making too much work for me”. But I no longer accept that all tickets are sold or all tables are booked without calling back three or four times and getting a second opinion. (That’s a habit that I should probably break when I get home — harrassing the Chili’s hostess isn’t such a good plan)

It’s not all foreigner mei you, though. For every no-soup-for-you, there’s someone else lying to tell you want you want to hear. Or what he or she thinks you want to hear. I have never been told that a train, bus or airplane would be late, in fact, employees will promise promptness in the face of storms, technical failures or other delays. If Mussolini made the trains run on time, then Mao made sure everyone at least tells you the train’s on time.

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I can’t watch this!

Posted on August 18, 2006 by Meg

When Stick and I were in Qingdao, we stopped at a tiny DVD store, mostly so he could read the Chinglish. After a few months in Yantai, I’m usually so excited to see an English sentence, that I can over look some of the errors that leave Stick gasping for air.

These DVDs are totally NOT pirated or illegal or anything because they’re being sold in an actual shop, not on the street, and that is exactly what I’m going to tell the customs inspector when I’m trying to get them back into the states. (Do you think I should cry when I say it, or look entitled-American defiant? And if they do confiscate my movies at the border, do you think I can at least keep my Chinese Starship Troopers for Jay?) Somehow these fine, legal copies have blurbs and flavortext unedited from fan sites and blogs. These blurbs may not be flattering, they may not be about the movie in question, in fact they might not even be about movies at all but they’re English. Almost.

“What does that even say?” Stick asks, about a blurb on the back of one movie. “Look, the Sopranos! Box set!” (Would someone who’s seen an American copy tell me if it should be the Sopranos or The Sopranos?)

“That’s the violent HBO show, yeah? The mobsters?” I ask. Did I mention that I no longer make proper questions? After getting a (loose) grasp on hao bu hao and you mei you, I’ve decided that ma is my favorite Chinese grammatical construction. You can make any statement into question with ma, or in English yeah? on the end.

I ask the proprietor for the price, and we decide that about $25 is a reasonable price for seasons 1-4. Stick leaves happily, sure that I’m going to love this show. I’m less enthused because I hate violent films. (I never really watched TV when I was a kid, and I think that’s directly responsible for why I can’t stand to watch movie gore or violence. I made Stick turn off Silence of the Lambs after seven minutes and I had to close my eyes for parts of Rome. Give me I, Claudius any day!) But six months in China has made me appreciate how nice it would be to have a simple night in front of the TV with my boyfriend so I agreed.

A few nights later, we were back in Yantai, sitting on the couch with pineapple beers in hand.

“I can’t watch this, boy,” I said, halfway into the series premiere.

“It’s not even violent yet!” he protested.

“I know… it’s just the food. Pizza. Pasta. Cheese. Salads. Mmmm. Why do they have to eat so much on this show? I don’t know if I can watch!”

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