Imposter Syndrome, Part 273

Meg: I’m working on your bio for our hipster startup profile, how many years have you been teaching?

Colleague-who-will-not-be-named: Oh, man, I have no experience and no training. It’s a wonder anyone lets me teach their kids anything.

Meg: What are you talking about? You have loads of experience, your classes are awesome and all the kids love you! Why would you say — WAIT A MINUTE. You’re trying to make some kind of a point here, aren’t you?

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Stories From Space Camp

I have a new story, Star-Crossed, out in Stories From Space CampStories From Space Camp is a scifi zine with an issue theme of assimilation / liberation.

Star-Crossed is about aliens and alienation. Although I’ve been writing science fiction since I was a teenager, most of it has never seen the light of day. For good reason, that is. Either I like the world but nothing interesting happens, or there’s no particularly reason to set the action in the Delta Quadrant. I’m happy with Star-Crossed, though. There’s a different world, characters perform actions, there’s not too much exposition, and the story resolves.

After The Subway Bride, though, I felt a bit awkward talking about it. Hey Meg, didn’t you just finish a story that’s basically about being transplanted in a slightly-twisted South? Yes, yes I did.

I wrote Star-Crossed in the spring, before I began teaching at Youth Digital, and sent it off to Stories From Space Camp, and didn’t really think about it until it arrived. When I reread my story, I found this whole secondary (tertiary?) theme about finding satisfaction in challenging work and good colleagues, even if the job isn’t quite what you’d expected.

(Also, I’m incapable of rereading anything I wrote without wanting to go back and make changes. )

Speaking of surprises from my subconscious,  I recently came across an old paperback of E Pluribus Unicorn (from high school, you know, when I thought I would be a science fiction writer), and reread it. Apparently the story The World Well Lost made a larger impression on me than I’d thought, because of the arcs in Star-Crossed is not so much inspired-by, more stolen-from.

Anyway, new story, I don’t hate it, it’s on dead trees and it’s part of a really lovely collection. Plus it was mailed with a candy bar, which is how all zines should arrive.

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The Future of Games Journalism

…is turning out 1000 ~ 2000 not-quite-original words, in 6 hours, for $1.

Looking someone to rewrite 100 to 200 word game news. Each 100 to 200 word game news is priced at $0.10

Please include these words in your application: I understand that “Each 100 to 200 word game news is priced at $0.10”

Please do not apply if you cannot rewrite 10 game news in 6 hours, or you’re not serious. This is a long-termed job.

From an actual job posting for a Game News Writer on oDesk.

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Surfer, Muppet, Gun, What?

My App Design 3 students are doing a math-heavy assignment, and as I explained what they were doing, I threw out a couple of Chinese  number handsigns, meant to emphasize that there were 6 sides on a die so 7 would roll an error. Ok, fine, so this math-heavy lesson was helping the kids make a cheat in a dice-rolling app. One of my students asked me what I doing with my hands.

Oh yeah, I said, it’s just a handsign I used for bargaining in Beijing, sorry kids, let’s get back to the app. The kids had a million questions, so I told them about my years in China, and taught them 6 through 10. (That’s Surfer, Muppet, Gun, Fingerpuppet, Fist, if you’re wondering.)  Sometimes I don’t feel like I’ve done very much in in my life, but I just sidetracked my games programming class with expat adventure stories, so, there’s that.

Later that night, I told Harold how funny it was, that I have so internalized the Chinese number handsigns that I used then in class for emphasis and clarity, forgetting that not everyone knows them.

He looked at me weird, and then asked me what number handsigns I was talking about.

Apparently I have been just throwing random hand signs around for years and no one has ever questioned it.

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Winter flowers. #blog

Winter flowers. #blog | January 28, 2014 at 11:29AM
Winter flowers. #blog

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Pioneer Girls

I started rereading the Little House books after Jennette and I got talking about them the other day.  (I’m not entirely sure how we made the segue from brunch mimosas to The Long Winter. We are talented!) I’d totally recommend rereading them as an adult and rediscovering so many familiar scenes, but if you’re going to reread them, definitely take a break between These Happy Golden Years and The First Four Years. I reread them in succession, finishing each one and then immediately beginning the next, and at The First Four Years, I felt like I’d been punched in the gut.

Each chapter of These Happy Golden Years reads like a blog post, a narrative essay ending on a high note. I read on my iPad, and without the thickness of a book in my hands, I kept thinking each chapter end was really the book’s end. They have all the Ingalls tells, like song lyrics and poetic prairie descriptions.

And then in The First Four Years, Almanzo is suddenly 10 years older than Laura. Apparently the part where she is a 16 year old schoolteacher and he is a 19 year old homesteader was fictional… so they are not a well matched precocious pair of young adults, but a slightly creepy 15 and 25 when they begin sleigh dating. Also he took on massive debt to fund their new house! And their crops keep failing! And Almanzo keeps borrowing against the next year’s crop!

I thought I might have been taking the story of a young (ish. I mean, Almanzo is my age.) couple’s setbacks too much to heart, but after three years of crop failure, and a bout of diphtheria, their house burns down. I was really surprised to read about their stillborn son, I didn’t remember it from childhood reading because the oblique references to pregnancy and childbirth went right over my little girl head. Ma Ingalls would have approved.

So yeah, take a little break first, and think about how great Those Happy Golden Years is.

pioneer girl I was happy to get the eARC for Bich Minh Nguyen’s Pioneer Girl, because it was described as a novel about a Vietnamese-American grad student researching Laura Ingalls Wilder and her daughter, Rose Wilder Lane. The key to the mystery is a golden brooch, that resembles the description of a gift Almanzo gives Laura in These Happy Golden Years. An American journalist called Rose left it in a Saigon cafe in the 60s, and now the granddaughter of that cafe owner wonders if that journalist might really have been Rose Wilder Lane.

The Lien family and the Ingalls-Wilder family share more than just possibly the gold cabin pin. As Lee Lien investigates Rose’s papers, she also starts to uncover more about her family and the topics they don’t discuss. We also see parallels between the Ingalls family’s travels, always in search of a better place, and the Lien family, immigrating from Vietnam and then moving throughout the Midwest.

Lee is hanging out at home after grad school, helping out a bit in the family’s cafe, and hoping for a job offer. Spending time at home as an adult leads to levels of discovery, as she ruminates on her brother’s favored status, on job prospects for a lit grad (I hear you, Lee!), their father’s death, the family’s travels around the Midwest, working at Chinese buffet restaurants, and focuses on her grandfather’s meeting with Rose Wilder, throwing herself into research and uncovering secrets in both families.

Sections of the book rang so true, like reading Edith Wharton for what the author calls the “wealth porn”, while other sections, like stumbling across secret documents at Rose Wilder historical site, were almost magical fiction. (I had some feelings about Rose’s secret child, but I Had Feelings over the improper archival methods.)

As Little House is a memoir that reads like fiction, Pioneer Girl is fiction that reads like a memoir. The story is a collection of loosely related arcs, and between the rambling and the slow reveals, it just felt more like an account of real events than a novel.

It’s not a memoir. I kept telling myself, because I would cringe at the unflattering descriptions of characters. (I’m over 30 years old, and I worry about fictional characters feeling badly about themselves) It’s not real people. I should have tried this for The First Four Years.

    Pioneer Girl is ultimately about wanderlust, that brought Pa Ingalls out to Indian Territory, and the wanderlust of all the homesteaders and immigrants, and the wanderlust in Lee’s family, as they move from one Chinese buffet restaurant to the next in the Midwest, and Lee’s own wanderlust, taking a job that seems promising but still might fail, leaving her just like Pa and Almanzo.

I received an eARC of this novel from the publisher to review. As always, all opinions are my own, and review copies have never stopped me from snarking about a bad book.

Edit: Julie reviewed Pioneer Girl too! PS Julie and I are friends because she also got very upset over a book character pocketing a historical document. 

 

 

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Instagramming

Hey, you guys, am I using Instagram right? #sunset #flowers #nature #lotsoffilters

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Improve Your Twitter Engagement with ReTweet.ly | (The) Absolute

I’m mostly covering indie games for (The) Absolute, but I’ve also been writing about interesting tech startups, too:

Web app retweet.ly aims to trade related retweets between users. Retweet.ly users sign in with their Twitter accounts, choose one of their recent tweets to share, and then browse through tweets other users would like retweeted. Users decide which of retweet.ly’s messages to retweet, and can always skip sharing tweets that would bore their followers.

Because I could sort potential RTs by interest, and then find the tweets other users had self-selected as most interesting and share-worthy, I found it was a surprisingly good way to find relevant news outside of my usual networks.

Of course, this system is only as good as the users, tweets, and Twitter accounts connecting to it. Under the Tech category, I found about three or four good pieces of shareable industry news to every one GET MORE FOLLOWERS WITH THIS EASY SYSTEM! RT! RT! spam tweet. The category Fun Stuff, though, was mostly followback pyramids. All the more reason to sign up with retweet.ly and get your clever tweets out there!

via Improve Your Twitter Engagement with ReTweet.ly | (The) Absolute.

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Still Life With Tardis

Harold is at my parents’ house, after driving up for a meeting and then getting caught into the snowstorm. I’m really glad he’s spending the night there, and not on the road in a blizzard, but it’s sad to be in Chapel Hill without him, and it does mean another day without the car for me.

Chapel Hill really requires a car. I got a ride into work, which was awesome, but I can’t just rely on people to drive me around all the time, especially if it’s going to be a couple days and not a one-off favor, so I decided to take the bus back. It’s only 2 buses from my office back to my apartment, and I routinely took more transfers than that in NYC, without even thinking about it. If I could make public transit work out for me, I wouldn’t have to drive and park every day, and that would seriously improve my opinion of this area! I went out to wait for the bus. North Carolina laughed in my face and started snowing.

Also my phone died, taking with it the number of a cab company I’d saved in case my travels didn’t work out, but I can’t reasonably blame that on location.   At the bus stop (which is in the middle of a strip mall parking lot, because North Carolina),  I noticed I was only wearing one earring. It was one of my my 3D-printed Tardis earrings, which I bought from an artist in Seattle, so pretty hard to replace it. Ugh. Losing my favorite earring at that point is exactly the kind of heavy-handed symbolism I would just hate to read.

It was no longer snowing this morning, or even particularly cold out. It’s actually only one bus to my office if I walk a bit first, which is quite nice in the sunshine. I enjoyed walking quickly up the street, and commuting with my Kindle and my coffee, and my bag tucked between my knees. (Because that is how you ride public transportation. You do not take up more than one seat. I’m just saying.) Civis Romanus sum, and all that. 

At work, I pulled on the corduroy blazer I leave in my office (because I’m always chilly, and apparently it’s not professional to curl up in a duvet at my desk), and found my missing Tardis earring in the pocket! It wasn’t really lost! I think I’d slipped it off while on the phone with Harold, finding out that he wasn’t going to make it back last night? And I wasn’t exactly thinking about my earrings then? I’m not totally sure. But it’s here!

So I’m just, you know, sitting at work a couple hours early, taking photos of my earrings. As one does.

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I Miss Chipperson

Sometimes I really, really miss working with Chip.

Chip

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