Things that should be simple, but aren’t.

Part 1 of 10,000

What’s the first thing you learn in a new language? That’s right, numbers. Beijing-bound flights usually have at least one Westerner practicing yi, er, san, si, and so forth. We usually also working on the accompanying handsigns, which, as Copperpoint has said, go 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, Dude!, Kermit, gun, redrum, Fight the man!

Anyway, we soon learn that a basic concept like “two” isn’t a basic concept. 2 can either be “liang” or “er”, actually. When you want 2 dumplings you use “liang ge” but you receive 2 RMB change as “er kwai”. “Liang” for 2 rooms, or staying 2 nights, but “er” for second floor or room #2. “One country, two systems”, the Chinese euphemism for the Mainland-Taiwan situation is called “y? guó li?ng zhì”.

I’m utterly baffled by 2. How am I going to master “wife of my father’s older-but-not-oldest brother”?