Simpson's Paradox

First, the good news. My game, Takeout, is now available on Amazon! So, if you played the game at BostonFIG (or in our living room), we could really use a review on Amazon.

Second, the even better part of this news is that I’m now done with all the logistics of making that happen! Thank goodness. This is not at all my skill set, and coming home to do unpaid work as a one-woman accounting, shipping and distribution center IS AWFUL.

I was aiming to have the game available for Black Friday / Cyber Monday shopping, but I discovered there’s so much paperwork and waiting and approvals and waiting and mailing and more waiting that I could have imagined.  Honestly, if I’d been fully aware of how much paperwork, logistics and waiting would be involved when I started, I’d probably have just given up.  So maybe it’s better that I went in thinking it would just take a couple of days, and better than I just kept thinking, ok, this is the last setback. Almost there.

I thought I’d never be finished.  Even yesterday, I checked the tracking numbers for the packages I’d shipped to Amazon, and two them had arrived right on schedule. — Oh, I had to ship three packages of games to three different Amazon warehouses, not just one. That’s what I mean by every step that seemed simple ended up taking more time than I’d imagined. After I packed up the three boxes, with their correct individual UPC labeling and correct Amazon shipping labels, there was more waiting at the UPS store. I even got the tracking numbers for each one, and I’m not exactly a process and organization person.

Then, yesterday I checked the tracking numbers for the packages, and two of them made it successfully to two warehouses, but the third was missing. Not delayed! Just gone! Somewhere!  I’d done everything I could, including getting the tracking number and checking back to see if other people were doing their jobs, but there was still one more delay.  Because of course there was.

So, yeah, I’m pretty happy the game’s up and all, but I’m even happier that I have the distribution pipeline sorted and the paperwork sorted, and I never have to go through that again.

I worked with him and I never noticed anything. He can’t be bad. This is such a wilful denial that codeswitching exists. We all behave differently around different people and in different situations, and it’s not reasonable to assume that someone who treats professional equals well is therefore incapable of predatory behavior.

In addition to that, we all have a reasonable personal interest in just doing our jobs and not getting involved in workplace drama. This goes double for creative fields with a lot of freelancing, where networking, contacts and good professional reputation can determine whether you’re hired again. Some guy at work who makes questionable dating choices that don’t directly affect us can just be read as awkward personal dramas to avoid.

Finally, it annoys me that we often hear a variation on “he seemed fine to me, therefore she must be lying” and rarely “she seemed fine to me, therefore a person with a vested interest in keeping this quiet is probably the one lying.”

She’s making it up for the attention. This makes no sense, because the attention women get from saying they were assaulted is not good attention. No one thinks it would be great to have their lives and choices torn apart in public, and have internet detectives dig up any past dating mistakes, professional setbacks, unattractive photos and pretty much any type of discrediting information. The court of internet opinion accuses victims of being both too unattractive to assault and too slutty for it to “count.” And there are still apologists we try to say that women are seeking this attention?

She’s lying to hurt him. I mean, I guess false accusations exist? I’m not saying that it’s completely impossible for a woman to make up an assault, but we don’t ignore any other reports of crimes based on the possibility of dishonesty. If you report a stolen wallet, the first reaction isn’t that you probably spent the money foolishly and now regret it.

And considering the complete lack of consequences men face, it’s not a particularly effective way to lie for revenge. Why not just lie to the IRS and get him audited?

It was a confusing situation. Look, no one is saying that a person who greets with a hug when the other person is coming in for a handshake is a sexual predator. Misreading signals is a thing. But, you know, if a man keeps somehow misreading signals of interest, and keeps kissing and touching people who aren’t interested, and it keeps happening to subordinates, and only subordinates, well, it gets harder and harder to see it as an honest mistake.

We’re all aware of power structures at work. If you claim that you don’t notice such things, send your boss out for your coffee tomorrow and see how that goes.

It’s disingenuous to pretend that a social request from someone with power is really a social request. If a superior invites a subordinate for coffee or dinner to discuss her work, or her future at the company, or a potential freelance project, she’s got to accept. There’s a whole other conversation about asking women to lean in, look for mentors, and network, telling them that they’re not going to earn as much until they communicate more like men, and then punishing women for sending signals of interest because they spoke about subjects of mutual interest with a man.

I mean, it’s not that confusing. Don’t put your hands on people who are backing away from you. Don’t kiss people who are backing away from you. Only show your dick to women who want to see your dick.

Fine! I guess flirting is illegal then, huh? If you can’t tell the difference between telling an acquaintance she looks pretty, or telling an acquaintance what sexual acts you’re going to perform on her, or showing unsuspecting women your junk, then yes, please don’t “flirt” with women.

J’aime l’Orville!

Ich mag die Orville!

Me gusta el Orville!

No matter how you say it, I like the stupidass show, The Orville.

Via I like The Orville – Recollections of Play 

Pretty much, man.

Sponsored post in partnership with Cars.com.

I tend to be a passenger, not a driver. My commute is by train, I run errands on foot. So, when we pick up a car, we’re usually taking a road trip or at least a cool day trip. Here are the essentials for a good road trip:

Comfortable car When we pick up a car, we usually get a Honda Element, a Jeep Renegade, or something like that. Mostly because my husband is six feet tall, and he gets cranky without legroom and headroom on a road trip.

Cell phone charger! Even if you’re not playing Pokemon Go in the car (and I’m not, mostly because Harold wants us to, like, talk to each other or something), navigation and podcasts will use up your battery. Newer cars often have USB ports for charging, but I usually have a cigarette lighter converter in my purse. This is a Cars.com post, and not a random-converter post, but converters with two ports exist. It’s great.

Playlists Fun roadtrips need a great soundtrack. Spotify has made up some roadtrip mixes already. or Podcasts I’m listening to RadioLab, This American Life, The Weeds and Dear Prudence. Not necessarily in that order….And if you haven’t listened to S-Town, you should!

Water bottle I carry my own, which saves on plastic waste because I’m not buying disposable bottles, and also keeps me from getting ripped off when bottles of water are $5.

Change cup For tolls and parking. I think there are 3 or maybe 4 free parking spaces in greater Boston, and I’ve never parked at any of them.

Sponsored post in partnership with Cars.com.