White On Black, Point Ten, With Flames, Robots and A BFG

Why do gaming sites feel the need to have white text on a black background? Don’t you have any sympathy for my eyes? It’s bad enough when I have to turn up the font size (shut up) but seriously, white-on-black is impossible to read! My first Geocities page had turquoise text on a lavender background (shut up), and I think I had some kind of creative font that looks like script, too, but I was a fifteen-year-old, not a major developer! I hate going to company sites and having to view the page with no formatting so I can actually read it.

I wonder if this is the game equivalent of if the music’s too loud, you’re too old.

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Playing Quidditch

“Stick? Can you play Quidditch for me?”

I recently rented Harry Potter for the DS, and the Quidditch parts are just as annoying as they are in the books and movies. Unlike the books and movies, I can’t flip a few pages or fast forward to when Gryffindor wins the Quidditch Cup.

The Quidditch World Cup is, coincidentally, when Stick stopped reading the books.

(I want to review the game, but my love of all things Harry Potter makes me biased, and completely able to overlook the fact that the first dozen or so missions involve running around Hogwarts picking up items and delivering them to different people. You get to use the Marauders’ Map as a GPS so it’s ok.)

When I get to a minigame I don’t like on the Nintendo DS, like the bug-squashing part in Sims Castaway, I can just hand the console over to Stick. He played for a while, complained about stupid Quidditch, and finally finished.

“I’m done. And Ginny Weasley says she wishes she had a reusable hangman.”

“Oh, man, just ’cause she’s my girlfriend I’m going to have run all around Hogwarts doing stupid tasks for her.”

“Welcome to my world.” Stick said.

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Wesleyan Commencement Speech

When I went to Bethie’s graduation last month, Anna Quindlen was the commencement speaker. (I know this is not exactly timely, but it took me a while to get my thoughts into a coherent shape) I was really excited to hear her, actually I was more excited about Anna Quindlen than I would have been about last year’s speaker, Obama. All due respect to my Twitter buddy Barack, but I was deeply affected by Object Lessons long before I even knew Obama’s name. I bought Blessings at the bookstore in Wangfujing last year, when English books were a rare and expensive luxury.

Quindlen’s speech at Wesleyan was a call to action, it was what every new graduate should hear. It was a reminder that finishing college is more than a piece of paper and a pile of student debts. It was great to be around New England liberals again. People who think global warming is real, our natural resources are finite, and it would be great if all Americans had healthcare.

One of the hardest things about being in North Carolina is the chitchat minefield. I often hear that global warming is a natural phenomenon, nothing to do with us, or that last year was so unseasonably cold that climate change can’t possibly exist. It felt really nice to be surrounded by educated and liberal young people, especially as they were being called upon to go forth and save the world!

Quindlen also praised this generation for changing attitudes towards gender and racial relations,  and wow, Quindlen is a great public speaker. But my idol suddenly had feet of clay when Quindlen threw in the obligatory Simpsons reference, that hallmark of a professor trying to show they’re young and hip. Don’t show me you’re hip, professors, show me you’ve read more books than I’ve heard of.

In the midst of calling on the new graduates to solve illiteracy problems, build a lifestyle not based on debt, and stop climate change, she exhorted them to make movies that weren’t comic book spin-offs. I believe this was meant as a reference to Wesleyan’s film school, but it sounded as through trashy movies are on a par with the destruction of the environment. So Wolverine and Watchmen aren’t great art (not like The Simpsons) but I don’t know if a predictable plot is on quite the same level as finite resources.

There was another odd moment, when in the midst of praising social change and technical progress, Quindlen stopped to question whether Twitter would be “dopey haiku for the mini-mind”. I’m so pleased that Twitter is on the scene now, taking the pressure off blogs. All the complaints once thrown around about blogs are now directed towards Twitter, as if the desire to connect with others and to share experiences is something frivolous and new.

You write about your daily life and your thoughts on the internet? How narcissistic! No one cares what you think! Why would anyone read that! And what about internet privacy? Anyone could come by and read it! I can’t believe you’d waste time writing and sharing your thoughts!

I’m going to be happy when Flutter comes out and Twitter gets a rest.

The speech really captured how I see Wesleyan. Liberal, world-changing, brilliant, moving, with just a tiny little reminder that Wes is better than plebs with stupid hobbies.

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Wonderland Adventures Review

I’ve got a new review in the July/August issue of Indie Game Mag, talking about Wonderland Adventures: Mysteries of Fire Island.

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Create-a-Mall

A lovely picture of Create-a-mall to go with my scathing Create-a-mall game review. I don’t think I’m quite the target audience for the new Create-A-Mall, since I don’t really like malls and shopping, but games often take a surprising premise to create a great game. A Nintendo game where you played a paperboy was really popular, DQ Tycoon isn’t like actually working at Dairy Queen, and playing Kudos as an underskilled twenty-year-old waitress was way more fun than actually being one.

Unfortunately, Create-a-Mall took mindless consumerism and crossed it with repetitive, challengeless gameplay. You play as Kelly, a corporate drone tasked with leasing stores to create a mall.

Time and resource management games all have some similarities. No matter what the game theme is, players will need to manage resources and time to complete goals. But Create-a-Mall felt like a clone of the repetitive playstyle and unrewarding rewards of Build-A-Lot 2, reskinned as a mall instead of a neighborhood.

In both games, players need the building plans, resources, and workers to create buildings, but all of those things are purchased, so there’s really only one resource, money, which makes it more of an earn-and-spend cycle and not actually a game.

Waiting to have money to buy things isn’t a fun game! As I became more successful, I had the opposite problem: I had money, but nothing to spend it on. Future building plans are locked, so even if you could afford an improvement before the scheduled level, you can’t have it.  And locked plans are hidden, so I’ll never know if you can build a penny fountain or a Beanie Babies shop later on. (I do try to complete games before reviewing, but I couldn’t make it through this one) Because your choices of plans to buy and therefore, stores to lease, was so limited, even later levels felt like a tutorial.

Both Create-a-Mall and Build-a-Lot give you the option to upgrade your existing houses or shops to make more money from them. Sadly these upgrades don’t add colored awnings or sandwich boards, they just add flying gold stars. Exactly like upgrading in Build-a-Lot!

One of my problems with the last game I bashed, the disastrous Tropical Dream, was that the reward system was an image of an empty room, to which you could add images of reward items. Ok, so Kelly’s office in Create-a-Mall didn’t make me want to cry, the way the bazillion spots for diving trip best shots did, but having a limited selection of bland reward items to decorate my office didn’t exactly motivate me.

If you do well, you receive “store credits” at the end of each level, which can be redeemed for items to put in Kelly’s office or for clothes for Kelly. This part was quite a lot like a real mall. Sometimes I have to make a return with no receipt, and I end up searching for something to use up my store credit.

This could just be my deep dislike of corporate life coming through into this game. Maybe there are hordes of players just dying to decorate their virtual cubicles. Right.

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Apex

Buckwheat Farm is out in Apex, so we drove through old Apex on the way home. Last summer, when we were looking for an apartment, I secretly wanted to live in Apex. Not because I know anything in particular about Apex, just because of Undine Sprague. (Really, it’s hard to work a good Edith Wharton joke into conversation. I think it’s all the suicides.)

This is more what I was expecting from North Carolina. These old buildings are North Carolina’s hutongs, something that was once so everyday has becoming car-stoppingly photo-worthy. Like the hutongs, they’re disappearing into modern life.

I don’t know if old is automatically better than new — I was not too thrilled with the bugs in our hutong — but it’s sad to see old buildings with such character replaced by developments of matching houses or industrial parks of matching offices.

(Your feed reader isn’t broken, this was originally part of Harvest Moonlighting but it seemed like a disconnect when I reread it, so I decided to make this into its own post.)

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Harvest Moonlighting

Last weekend, Stick and I went out to pick strawberries.  We ended up at Buckwheat Farm, where we filled a tray and our mouths with hot red berries. It was summer-day perfection.  After half a tray, we started to get hot and sweaty, and the Nintendo games back home in the air-conditioning were starting to look better and better. We were about to pack up and go when we overheard that family next to us, who happened to have brought along the International Strawberry Expert.

The International Strawberry Expert scolded his kids for not picking carefully enough, for leaving properly-red berries on the vine, for failing to spread out, for letting pinkish berries get into the picking basket, for not treating the leaves with enough delicacy. Hilarious! (Unless, of course, your dad happens to be the International Strawberry Expert, in which case, it’s probably not so funny.)

We got home, still laughing over the International Strawberry Expert, and inspired by our day out in the country, we looked at our own potted plants. Contrary to expectations, Stick and I haven’t killed our plants yet. We have noticed a new flaw in our gardening plan. We’ve planted carrots, radishes and spring onions, mostly based on the belief that these will be easy to grow, but all three of our balcony-pot crops grow underground.

“How will we know when they’re radishes?” I asked Stick.

“Don’t they pop up over the soil?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Well, they do on Harvest Moon!”

Hmm…. looks like a job for the an International Radish Expert!

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Vocabulary Building

“Look, Stick, I got spam in Chinese! It says:  I…. good…. mine…. you… not or no… please… compare or comparison… net… not have… you… Um, that’s all I can read.”

“You clearly need to learn the Chinese for ‘Nigerian royalty’ and ‘bank transfer'”

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Microsoft Says To Give Up FireFox, Or Get Lost

In a move that sounds like a joke, Microsoft is offering $10,000 as a prize for using IE8. They specify that Firefox users need to switch, or get lost! I’ve been accused of blog hyperbole once or twice, but that’s a direct quote from the contest site:

We’ve buried $10,000 somewhere on the Internet and if you’re the first one to find it, you get to keep it.
But you’ll never find it using old Firefox.
(So get rid of it, or get lost.)

It seems as if the big M is paying users to risk giving up the convenience and stability of FireFox, but if the choice is between a distant shot at a $10,000 prize, or using a stable browser with virus protection everyday, well, that’s not much of a choice.

I’m not a big fan of the new Word or the old Internet Explorer (I do use it from time to time to check if my sites work in IE), so as much as I love trying new programs, I don’t think I’ll try IE8.

The new Word was such a disappointment. I know that a new version of a familiar product can be a bit like when Stick reorganizes the cabinets. I look for sugar with the salt and the spices, but he’s put it next to coffee and tea. There’s nothing wrong with putting sugar by the tea bags and electric kettle, it may even be more efficient to keep it there, it’ll just take me a few confused openings of the spice cabinet to remember. I expect a bit of learning curve, but the new Word was a bit like hiding the sugar (and other essentials, like the beer and yogurt staples) in a drawer marked only with the Windows logo.

Even though there’s a $10,000 prize that can only be seen with IE8, I’ll be staying with FireFox. So, Microsoft, since you put it that way, I think I’ll get lost.

Info from Ten Grand is Buried Here | Microsoft, thanks to @mercurywaxing for the tip.

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TechCoquette

I have a couple articles up on the new TechCoquette, including this one on What his Twitter Timeline is Telling You:

Want a peek into your new boyfriend’s mind? Just browse his Twitter timeline!

A guy’s Twitter stream gives you clues about his hobbies, how he relates to his friends, and what wanders across his mind when he’s supposed to be working. Want to know how he spent last weekend? No need to casually ask around — his updates tell you where he went, what he did and how he liked it.

I’ve written on the intersections of tech and relationships for WomenGamers, Bleech and so forth, I really like it. I especially like that now when Stick and I have an argument, I can respond with “Oh yeah? Well who’s the relationship expert around here?”

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