My dad really loves this picture of President Truman. I’ve thought about this photo from time to time when I thought I was faced with insurmountable obstacles, and it’s always been an inspiring and/or comforting image. Right now, though, as each state is called and Stick assures me that it’s Obama’s game now, and I can stop biting my nails, I think of that photo and nervously refresh CNN, NYTimes, Twitter, BBC, endlessly.
When I was a kid, one of my favorite jokes was about the Viper. A lady in a big house all alone gets a call from “the viper” telling her he’ll see her tomorrow… then tonight… then in 1 hour… then in 10 minutes… and then a man arrives to vash and vipe the vindows! I thought that was the funniest joke ever, only I used to mix it up and tell it about the Vindow Vasher.(Note to any potential employers: I promise I don’t laugh at ESL pronunciation anymore. I also know that a viper is a snake now, too.)
I’m telling you this so you know that haunted window cleaning was part of my consciousness before last week. Last week, you see, our car developed phantom wipers. When we start the car, the wipers turn themselves on for a few swipes, and then stop. Sometimes while I’m driving on one of these gorgeous sunny fall days, they’ll do one swish of the windshield too. They keep the windshield clear when it’s raining, and the car is running well in all other ways. The wipers just switch on randomly for an extra swish every day or so.
It’s probably karmic retribution for telling the Vindow Viper joke on an infinite loop for large portions of my childhood. Or it’s just my special brand of entropy that causes cars around me to self-destruct.
So far the only way to stop the wipers from going on is to tell someone to watch this crazy thing the wipers do, and then start the car. Nothing happens.
Canadian comedians called Sarah Palin pretending to be Sarkozy. I’ve seen this a few places, and I wasn’t going to listen to this because radio pranks are usually stupid set-ups and the punchline is somebody saying a dirty word to a celebrity, which really isn’t my sense of humor. But I read a bit of the transcript — the conversation is long enough for exerpts from a transcript — and had to hear the whole thing. They have her on the phone for a long time, starting with a good French accent and some vanilla chat about the campaign, and then saying he can see Belgium from his house…and then just saying ridiculous things in a Pepe Le Pew voice.
It’s ok if you can’t listen to the whole thing, I just started to cringe and feel so badly for her.
There’s a terrifying Stepford Wife quality here because as “President Sarkozy” goes further and further off the deep end, talking about Hustler’s Nailin’ Palin documentary, she continues to respond with campaign slogans:
Masked Avengers: You know my wife is a popular singer and a former top model and she’s so hot in bed. She even wrote a song for you.
Sarah Palin: Oh my goodness, I didn’t know that.
A: Yes, in French it’s called de rouge a levre sur un cochon, or if you prefer in English, Joe the Plumber…it’s his life, Joe the Plumber.
P: Maybe she understands some of the unfair criticism but I bet you she is such a hard worker, too, and she realizes you just plow through that criticism.
A: I just want to be sure. That phenomenon Joe the Plumber. That’s not your husband, right?
P: That’s not my husband but he’s a normal American who just works hard and doesn’t want government to take his money.
This could be our next vice president. Please vote.
This Weburbanist list of geek pumpkins includes a Death Star jack-o-lantern, Mario, and ends with Stick and my classics pumpkins from 2004!!! The photos of really artistic carvings make my Minoan octopus and Stick’s Greek helmet look not-so-good, but we were still excited and surprised to see ourselves on the list!
In other news, due to a serious lack of trick-or-treaters, Stick is going to eat a gigantic bag of Swedish fish all by himself.
“Have you seen my phone?” Stick asked me as we were getting ready to leave this morning. “I can’t find it anywhere.”
“No.” I said. We looked around the apartment, while Stick mumbled incoherently about having it just a moment ago. “I’ll call your phone so you can find it.” I dialed Stick from my cellphone and we listened to the sound of his phone ringing from inside his pocket.
Yes, he was unable to find his phone while it was on his person. The next time he asks where his shoes / phone / keys are, I’m going to frisk him to make sure he’s not carrying them.
Sometimes Stick has the short-term memory of a goldfish. I don’t mean that in a bad way, it’s wonderful to live with someone who forgets what we’ve bought on the way home from the grocery store, and is completely thrilled at the ice cream that’s appeared magically in our freezer. Stick will re-notice a tidied room each time he comes in. But losing something he was actually holding? Might be a record even for Stick.
About two minutes after I dropped Stick at work, my phone rang. It was Stick.
“Hey, I have a missed call from you.” he said.
“This just isn’t your day, is it?”
Note: As you read this post, please imagine Stick shouting “Trickertreat!” every few minutes in the background.
I saw this over on Suburban Turmoil, aptly titled “Best. News Release. Ever.”
Monster Mash Singer’s Daughter Turns His Cremated Remains into a Diamond.
Los Angeles, CA October 31st, 2008 – Bobby Pickett who co-wrote and performed “The Monster Mash“, died at the age of 69 on April 25, 2007 in Los Angeles, California, due to complications from leukemia. His daughter Nancy Huus was at his side when he died.
After his death, Nancy had a .44 ct colorless LifeGem diamond created from his cremated remains. She wears it in a white gold solitaire ring. Pickett was diagnosed with leukemia 5 years ago, and he and his daughter Nancy talked openly about death. “I saw a show about turning cremated remains into diamonds,” said Nancy, “I immediately called my father and told him that I wanted to make a diamond from his cremated remains; he loved the idea.”
Creepy. I first blogged about LifeGems a few years ago, when I thought it was a pretend company (like BabyInk). I’m a little disturbed that it’s real and that people are turning their departed loved ones into jewelry. But I stand by what I said:
Whoever came up with Life Gems must have been playing a little too much Morrowind. Sometimes when you’re playing Morrowind, you’re a dark mage and you steal someone’s lifeforce and make a Soul Gem to facilitate your evil sorcery and character leveling. But the people behind Life Gems are actually turning human bodies into cubic zirconia. Can you imagine?
“I like your earrings.”
“Thanks, they were my grandparents,”This is also another example of what a difference an apostrophe makes, because there’s nothing dark-wizardy about wearing jewelry that was your grandparent‘s.
You’d think with the amount of time I spend thinking about usage and punctuation, I’d have affect and effect worked out by now, wouldn’t you?
According to Stick, it’s ok to eat all the Halloween candy if he says “Trick or treat” while doing so. I wonder if I should buy a second bag so our real trick-or-treaters can have some.
It’s actually painful for me to pass this on, since I want to win so badly. But it’s still an awesome contest:
Mashable and VisualCV have teamed up to send a Mashable reader to China in November with Robert Scoble, Shel Israel, Sam Lawrence, Christine Lu, Elliot Ng and more. Travel with this group of high-level tech entrepreneurs and leading social media influencers on a multi-city tour of China’s tech sector. Blog about your trip to China with a chance to post on the official China 2.0 Blog and maybe even have a guest post on Mashable. Don’t miss the opportunity of a lifetime. Create and share your VisualCV today to have a chance to be selected as a blogger on the China 2.0 Tour in November.
Sign up here (FOR FREE), create your VisualCV and use it to tell us why you think you should be selected to go on The China Business Network’s upcoming China 2.0 Tour. Share your VisualCV with us at china2.0@visualcv.com so we can select a winner. Good luck!
I entered yesterday, because how could I pass up the chance to go back to China and blog, without all that tedious lesson prep and going to work? I think there’s still another day left to enter, though. Good luck, and if you win, bring me back some hawthorn leather.
Via Visual CV – You Need a Better Resume (seen all over the China blogs but I believe this is the source page)
When I first went to Yantai, I imagined I’d come home and slip effortlessly into fluent Mandarin to quote ancient Chinese wisdom. Fortunately for people who have to put up with me, that didn’t happen.
A few characters have somehow made it into my notetaking, which is completely mindblowing to me. I tried to train myself to write any characters I did know at every opportunity as practice, and some of those words stuck. Which now makes my handwriting extra illegible!
I don’t have any complete phrases, or ancient Chinese sayings, but one Chinese word has made it into our everyday vocabulary. Stick and I both use la da to talk about food, instead of saying spicy-hot-not-hot-hot.
Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog, Joss Whedon’s new project, recently put out a call for supervillains to submit their applications. Stephen Follows sent me his villain, The Garnisher. It’s very Mystery Men, only with music. And garnishing.
The Garnisher – Application to the Evil League of Evil from The Garnisher on Vimeo.
Related: Stephen’s Space Chase
