Ending A Phonecall with My Sister

“I have to go now, Meggie, my plasmas are solidifying.”

–Beth

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Durian Romance

The awesome Mental Floss Blog has a new post on 5 Innovative Ways to Encourage Safer Sex. All 5 are funny – condom ringtones, anyone? — but I just had to share this one.

Ethiopians claim they hate condoms because the smell of latex sickens them. To combat the odor, DKT International, a United Sates nonprofit, created coffee condoms. These dark brown condoms allegedly (I’m not testing the products) taste and smell like the favorite coffee of Ethiopia—the macchiato, an espresso with cream and sugar. … These condoms bolster national identity because Ethiopians claim to have invented coffee. DKT International also created flavored and scented condoms for Indonesia (durian fruit) and China (sweet corn).

Yes, that’s right. Durian fruit flavored condoms.

Durian is a strange Asian fruit, which is either considered a delicacy or one of the most revolting smells on the planet. I fall into the second category… I still regret once putting my nose near a durian just to see if that funny spikey fruit could really be making that sickening rotting smell. (It was!) Even in countries where durian is eaten, durian are not allowed in public places, like on subways, or on planes, or into hotels or hospitals because of the smell.

I find that retching and gagging discourages romance, but to each his own, I guess.

Via mental_floss Blog » 5 Innovative Ways to Encourage Safer Sex

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Blue Sky Day

This is how a blue sky day should look.

Related: A collection of sky photos from Tabetha’s blog.

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Legally Southern

I got my North Carolina driver’s license yesterday. I just can’t get over how polite and friendly people are here, even in the DMV. It was still a long process, partly because nothing n North Carolina moves quickly, and partly because I was trying to use a Yankee license and a Yankee checkbook, and I don’t have the same last name as the main policyholder on the car insurance. (Is it bad to get married because the paperwork is driving me nuts?)

Out-of-state drivers need to take a written test to get a North Carolina license. One of the questions was about how to pass farm equipment on the road… I guess I’m not in Montclair anymore Most of the questions are pretty simple, here are some sample questions.

Question 1. You are driving along and you see a charging elephant! You should:

A – Act like an aggressive jerk

B – Behave courteously towards the elephant

C – Banana

Question 2. If you get 9 naughty points on your license in 7 years, or 6 points in 5 years following a suspended license or 11 points in 11 years if you’re a Libra, and you are pulled over for an additional moving violation, resulting in 6 more naughty points, what will happen?

A – The cop will be happy.

B – The cop will be sad.

C – The first train arrived in Detroit 2 hours after the second train.

Although I did have to skip a couple questions about what to do in poor driving conditions because there wasn’t any D. – Ask Stick to drive option.

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A Different Lens

Last night Stick and I hung pictures in our new apartment, which really means that I framed some of our China photos and artwork, arranged them artistically on the floor and told him I wanted them like that, only on the wall.

When the hammering was finished, we stepped back to admire the effect.

“Do you think those people would be surprised to see themselves hanging on a foreigner’s wall?” Stick asked, pointing at a black-and-white photograph of Yantai men playing street chess.

Then we looked at each other, wondering just how many of our foreigner photo-ops have made it to Chinese photo albums and onto Chinese walls.

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Applegate Farms

Applegate Farms is famous because it was my high-school job… ok, actually, it’s famous because some scenes of The Sopranos were filmed there.

My friend Garan worked there for a while, too, but he doesn’t have a hat because his head was too big to wear one. True story. He had to wear a white paper soda jerk hat, but even so girls were STILL chasing him around. Some days it was very hard to be friends with Garan, what with all the girls following him around and agreeing with everything he said.

The Applegates website says they are one of the largest ice cream retailers on the East Coast, and they have new shops all over. We worked at the first Applegates, on Grove Street, which was the only Applegate Farms when we worked there.

Also we had to walk there. Uphill both ways.

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Sabado Gigante

Hey, anyone want to see Stick proposing to me on Spanish TV?

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Famous Narragansett Beer

Today’s found-while-unpacking picture is a Narragansett shirt from when I worked as a beer promoter in college. This job mostly consists to assigned places, giving out samples of beer, and avoiding the creepy guys… While wearing the t-shirt, of couse. Kind of like being a B-list Bacardi girl.

I did promos for a couple products, but I didn’t keep my Mott’s applesauce T-shirt.

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Garden Party World

The new online kids’ game Garden Party is almost ready, and Victoria from Asylum was nice enough to send me an email introducing me to the beta.

I checked out the game, which is billed as a safe, multiplayer world for kids. Garden Party is a collection of minigames, which can be played interactively or alone, at which you win the local Garden Party currency, Orbs. The concepts of the games were cute, and able to be played interactively or solo, but I’m not really the target demographic, so I found them a bit repetitive and simplistic. I didn’t really like the ratio of orbs to mingames, as I felt forced to play boring minigames to make the cash for the fun part of Garden Party, the garden. I don’t really need a game for the opportunity to do something not-so-fun to make money to do fun things… I think that’s called having a job.

The garden really is the best part of Garden Party. Each player has their own garden and treehouse to decorate as you’d like. Players purchase seeds, which need to be planted and watered, and then grow into everything you could need, from cartoony flowers (I grew bubble flowers and glitter star flowers) to animal costumes to treehouse furnishings and fashion accessories. You can unlock your garden to invite guests or for gardening contests.

Of course, I spent most of my orbs on accessories seeds! These flowers can grow mohawks, colored shades, eyepatches, pirate hats, crowns…. there’s are enough accessories and clothing changes to make avatars look different. Garden Party had an excellent balance of enough customization and options to make a crowd of individual ‘toons looking different, but kept within a defined game aesthetic. Did I mention how cute everything is?

And costumes! You need a duck costume to swim (sorry Hugo!), a bee costume to buzz around and a spaceship costume to blast off. These costumes grow from seeds, or you can buy them from other players. In costume, you can play different minigames.

The minigames are competitive without ever being close to violent. In one game, players compete to color a picture. From a parenting standpoint, Garden Party is safe for wee ones without the annoying text protection of Wizard 101. (Assuming, of course, that your little one isn’t going to use the mail function to tell bad guys where they live and what time Mommy isn’t home. If they are likely to do that, you can turn off messaging until you’ve taught them about stranger safety.)

I had another slight problem. It’s a browser game that doesn’t use the whole screen. Don’t tell anyone this, but I often increase the text size when I read blogs.  (Because I am old. And apparently going blind, as well.) So I think that my avatar looked cute in her purple dress, black boots and green glasses, but I couldn’t see it very clearly. The size didn’t really interfere with my ability to play, I just wish it had been bigger.

Overall, this is a pretty game. It’s very good for kids because the controls are intuitive, with a good mix of simple games and open-ended gardening, and also a good balance of activities you can do alone or with others. I suppose saying I liked it isn’t a very good way to prove than I’m no longer in grade school and not British, either!

(Just want to make it clear that this is not a paid or a sponsored review in any way. Opinions here are my own. You all knew that, right?)

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Getting Older

Stick: … and we should get some coasters.

Meg: I don’t think we’re really coaster people.

Stick: Yes, but I’d like to be.

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