In the spirit of Why I Hate My Husband, here is a list of things I don’t like about Stick.
1) He cannot pass a Comcast van without him intrrupting himself (or me!) to shout “CaaaAAAAaaable guy!”
2) He sings along with the instrumental part of songs. He likes “wikikiwikikikwikikika waaaaeng!” for guitar solos and “yuhbububububah” for drum solos.
3) He cannot pass a field of cows without mooing at them. Loudly. With the windows rolled down.
3a) Sometimes, Stick mistakes horses for cows.
3b) Or a group of extremely large dogs.
3c) Or once it was ducks.
Have you noticed that these are all things you would notice about Stick if you were in the car with him for an extended period of time? That’s because we drove to New Jersey this weekend to see my awesome little sister and to see Queen! My parents’ house is near a street called Watchung Avenue which leads us to reason number four:
4) If something makes him think of Wang Chung, he does his Top 40 DJ voice and says “This is Wang Chung, singing Wang Chung, off their album Wang Chung,” then he pauses, and says in his regular voice, “The only other song I can think of like that is Bad Company singing Bad Company from their album Bad Company. Can you think of any others?”
Stick really REALLY likes Queen. One time he told me that his greatest regret is never seeing them in concert. Remember the Bentley from Good Omens? It has the mysterious power of turning all CDs into Queen tapes. That would be Stick’s ideal car, although I think his Cougar already has that power. He has about a thousand Queen CDs, he sings their songs all the time, expecially with his own words. I think his favorite is Crazy Little Thing Called Meg, but I don’t know what his favorite song is because each time they played a new song he would lean over and say “This is my favorite!”
I can’t really blame him, because each song was better than the previous one. And I’m not really a Queen fan (If I hadn’t met Stick, I still wouldn’t know the difference between Under Pressure and Ice, Ice, Baby.) We had a really good time, it was an awesome crowd, excited and loud without being obnoxious.
Since Freddie Mercury was unable to attend, it was actually a Queen and Paul Rodgers concert. Paul Rodgers is the founder and lead singer of Bad Company so it was actually a Queen and Bad Company concert.
“I didn’t know I knew that many Bad Company songs,” Stick said as we were leaving to drive back to Massachussetts (right after the show because we only had nine hours to make it to my Latin and his Greek class). “I thought I only knew Bad Company from their album Bad Company,”
“Like Wang Chung,” I said.
I KNOW it was only 5 reasons! I can’t think of any other things I don’t like!
6) Three seconds into any song by Foreigner, Stick says “The Pride of Rochester New York!” followed by a dissertation on Four.