The following is probably only funny to my college friends, but it proves that I’m not the only one who waits years for the perfect chance to say something ridiculous. Eric does too!
Meg: Remember when you poured iced tea into my lap twelve years ago?
Eric: Yes. You haven’t let me forget it.
Meg: I totally one-upped you the other night.
I set Harold’s napkin on fire at dinner.
Eric: Oh did you…
Cool, now you can lay off about the tea.
Meg: it was all his fault, really.
Eric: If he hadn’t been cleaning the dishes with lighter fluid, the napkin would have been fine?
Meg: haha no, I was distracted,
which is clearly his fault!
Eric: I see. Surely he knows better then to distract you when there’s fire nearby
Or sharp objects, fragile heirlooms, steep hills/cliffs, water, hamsters, budgies, carrots, handbags, cheese, kuala lumpur…
It also proves that I should probably not be trusted in restaurants with candles.