Dear Mom,
Can you send me some jeans for Christmas? I want the same size 6 boot cut Gap jeans you got me last year, they were perfect but I ripped them sliding into my seat in Duck Duck Goose.
Love,
Meg
Dear Mom,
Can you send me some jeans for Christmas? I want the same size 6 boot cut Gap jeans you got me last year, they were perfect but I ripped them sliding into my seat in Duck Duck Goose.
Love,
Meg
Today I did a lesson on clothes which involved my kids asking and telling each other what they were wearing. My kids have uniforms, so to prevent a mind-numbingly repetitive class, I had some students dress up.
When I pulled out this dress, my little girls fell over each other asking to wear it. It worked as a great motivator, they strung together two or three words to make their wants clear.
But in class 4, one little boy, Dick, shouted “I WANT TO WEAR THE DRESS!!!” and I figure that I should reward him for a complete English sentence.
Stick’s parents asked what we were eating, and the short answer is that I’m trying to cook at home.For example, here’s our dinner the other night. It might not make a magazine cover, but this is some hardcore polenta. I scooped the cornmeal out of a giant bag at the street market, pre-boiled the tap water before I cooked it, and then fried it with chopsticks.
The long answer is that anything and everything I want to cook is a production. I don’t buy meat, partly because the unrefrigerated hunks of flesh kind of creep me out and partly because it’s a butcher-shop situation and I don’t know the Chinese for “hack off some of Bessie’s flank there, no intestines please.”
So, I’m cooking vegetarian food, except for some maple-flavoured bacon that a trendy import shop happens to carry in their Western food section.
We don’t have an oven. We have a stove, with two gas burners that remind me of this Sterno-can camp stove my dad built when I was kid, only our Beijing stove is bigger and not quite as safe. We also have a microwave… it’s in the living room, on top of the fridge, but it works fine.
If you’re confused, “kitchen” is the room where the stove is, and “living room” is the room where the fridge and the TV are. They are connected only by the unheated balcony. Oh, and the “balcony” isn’t a little porch for enjoying the view, it’s a screened airing closet for drying laundry. Sims would starve to death in our house.
(In the interests of honesty, there is a big pass-through window between the kitchen and living room, and Stick is quite good about getting up and handing me the milk through the window. )
I thought that I was familiar with the demo class as a shady recruitment policy, but my current school’s plan for a demo class might actually be a record for sketchy Chinese ESL policies. Basically, the parents are going to be invited to watch a class in December. The reason we know about it now, and not 10 minutes before the parents arrive, is that everything we will “teach” is scripted, down to which students we call on in what order. The parents will then be evaluating the carefully rehearsed farce English lesson and then offering suggestions on “our” lesson plans, as if there would be any input from the foreign teachers in the planning of the class performance. I’m not entirely sure how any of this benefits anyone involved.
I thought I was just being grumpy about it but last night Stick got on the job boards and starting reading listings.
My TAs insist that Pike, Elics and Filick are English boys’ names. Their reasoning behind each choice is that they know someone by that name. I don’t doubt it for a second, but my role as imported English teacher is to reduce giggle-worthy Chinglish, not spread it.
Anyway, it’s probably better that I’m not allowed to change their names. Sure, I’ll probably call the boys Bill or Joey or Matt, but I might also go with good, old-fashioned Biblical names, like Zebidiah or Nebuchanezzar. You never know.
Or, “I don’t know why Scep even talks to me”.
[11/15/2007 11:48:23 PM] Scep says: what, you don’t like calibri?
[11/15/2007 11:49:03 PM] Meg says: no, no one wants to read a paper in a zany font!
[11/15/2007 11:49:11 PM] Scep says: it’s not zany
[11/15/2007 11:49:43 PM] Meg says: it’s not standard
[11/15/2007 11:50:09 PM] Scep says: it will be
[11/15/2007 11:50:39 PM] Meg says: yeah, well I’ll have a flying car someday, but my house shouldn’t default to a roofside garage
Stick has an adult class on Thursday nights, and I often go with him. It’s a class for students who want to pass their conversational English exam, so it’s a good chance for us to ask questions about Chinese life.
He received the list of discussion subjects, in Chinese, a few hours before the first class, and got them translated into English a few minutes before class. Well, almost translated, “vacation” and “vocation” may only be a letter apart, but they’re quite different conversational topics. (If the translator’s primary school teacher had been allowed to teach phonics, that might not have happened.)
“When are we going to start our stories?” one of Stick’s students asked last week.
“Stories? What stories?” he asked.
It turns out that Stick’s class was supposed to be preparing compositions based on that list of conversational topics. To pass their conversational English exam, student write a short piece on one of the selected topics, and recite it to their examiners. The testers will then ask them some questions based on their composition, so I suppose there’s a little bit of non-memorized English.
I don’t know which is funnier, that Stick assumed that he’d need to teach conversational English for students to pass their conversational English test, or that he taught from September to November without anyone mentioning that he wasn’t covering the material.