Valentine’s Day

Happy Hallmark Day! I taught my first lesson today, which wasn’t supposed to happen for a week yet, and also I was supposed to have someone observing my first lesson. Yet another example of how schedules don’t exist in China, and I must remind myself to adjust. It went well, though, we talked about Valentine’s Day and then we played winter Olympics hangman.

Speaking of Valentine’s Day, Kristin sent me an e-card, but I can’t read it because it was censored! Must be dirty! And Stick sent me Catullus 32. It begins, Amabo, mea dulcis Ipsitilla… although if you’re a classistic, you’d recognize it by novem continuas fututiones instead.So if anyone else wants to send me something steamy, do it in Latin.

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Arriving in China

When I arrived in Yantai, after thirty-some hours in transit (and yes, wandering the Beijing airport wondering if I made a huge mistake DOES count as transit time), I was not met by Ji (my new boss) or the promised fluently bilingual staff. Ji had to go to a meeting in Beijing, and so I was met by a girl called Lily holding a paper sign with my email address on it.

We take a bus to the taxi, and in retrospect, I wonder if this is Ji’s inherent stinginess or whether the needs of the disoriented, jet-lagged foreigner just haven’t occured to anyone. The taxi lets us out at my new apartment complex, where it turns out that Lily doesn’t actually know which building we’re going to. She starts to ask passing people and I realize that even when I know she is saying “Where is building seven?”, I can’t recognize even a single word from my Chinese tapes. We circle for a while, pulling my suitcase through the snow, and I’m wondering more and more if I’ve made a collossal mistake.

Lily plunks me in a corner shop to wait while she looks for the building. I sit on my suitcase while the shopkeeper and his wife stare at me. I try out my baby Chinese, but they can’t understand me.

Before I can really wonder if Lily is a kidnapper, she’s back with directions. As we get closer to my new home, a red-haired young man comes out to help me get my bags up the unlit stairs. He introduces himself as Calvin, and, by the way, he’s my roommate.

Lily leaves, and Calvin helps set me up in our apartment. He shows me how to flush the toilet (turn on a tap behind the tank, wait for the tank to fill, flush, turn off the tap) and use the shower (turn on a tap behind the washing machine, wait for the water to warm up, turn off the tap after use) and use the stove (turn on the gas from a can, turn on the burner, give up in the burner, use a match, turn off the gas when finished). We also have a TV screen to show who’s arriving downstairs, an in-building telephone to speak to visitors, a DVD player and the hugest television set I’ve ever seen.

About an hour later, Ji and her husband show up. She tells us she’s just come back from spending Spring Festival in Mongolia in order to meet the new teacher. That’s me, but I tell them that I’m too tired to go to dinner. I mention that it’s over 30 hours from New Jersey to Yantai (Does no one here understand that I’ve been sitting up for over a day?). She says she understands and she went to graduate school in Canada. I ask where, we chat about Toronto for a moment, and they leave.

Calvin and I wrap ourselves in blankets because the electricity went out on the previous day, and the heater is still running overtime to catch up. We lie on the couches — for some reason, we have huge leather couches — like cocoons and talk.

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Lantern Festival

Last night was Lantern Festival in China! This is the first full moon after Spring Festival / Chinese New Year. Lantern Festival is celebrated by spending the day with your family and eating a lot of a certain kind of dumpling together. If you don’t eat them, then your ears fall off (ok, that’s what I THOUGHT he said, but it might be a translation problem!).

After eating dinner, you go outside the foreign teachers’ apartment and light off as many fireworks as you can. In every direction. All night. The louder the better.

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Last Post In The USA!

My visa has been approved, my tickets are here, and I am leaving New Jersey early Friday morning, arriving in Yantai on Saturday night (Chinese time!). I just told my school’s headmistress what I look like so we can find each other at the airport.

My next post will be from China!

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Home Sweet Home

Modern Yarn, a shop in my lovely hometown, is hosting a knitters’ party this weekend. To make thongs. From licorice.

Modern Yarn Project

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Games and Relationships

Stick just sent me a link to this MSN dating article, in which a girlfriend writes for advice on dealing with her computer game-addicted boy. In the spirit of Dear Abby’s Wastebasket, I’ve written a different answer.

Dear Tired,

Did you notice your boy’s fixation with videogames before shacking up? I mean, you must have dated him for at least a little while before moving in. Did he spend every waking moment playing City of Heroes or EverCrack then? You didn’t expect him to change because you moved in, did you?

Consider cultivating your own hobbies. What are you doing in the evenings while Boyfriend is slaying Defias Bandits? I mean besides sighing loudly and writing to Break Up Girl. You must have done something for fun before Boyfriend came along, try doing it again.

How about asking your boy to teach you to play too? MMORPGs are a fun way to bond with your boy. When you’re playing a multi-player game, you have to work as a team, solve problems together, deal with failure and share successes. So his gaming skills are pretty important relationship skills too. World of WarCraft and Guild Wars are very girl-friendly online games to get you started.

But if your boyfriend doesn’t realize that dinner time and plans with you come first, even though his teammates need a defender to get them through Perez Park, then he’s not a gamer, he’s a jerk.

Meg

Sidenote to Lynn Harris:

I thought BreakUpGirl was the coolest superhero and I was so sad when you stopped updating! But you really let me down when you suggested that those who play videogames aren’t mature enough for a real relationship.

Sidenote to Stick:

Why were you reading “my SO plays too many videogames” advice letters? Are you trying to tell me something?

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Chinese New Year

Today is the first day of Chinese New Year. There is a tradition that whatever you do today, you will continue to do all year. So children aren’t scolded or spanked today, because if they cry, they will cry all year. You’re also not supposed to wash your hair or sweep today because you could be getting rid of your good fortune for the next year.

Today is also the day I left Massachusetts, and more importantly, Stick, to go to my parents’ house before leaving for China, so I wasn’t exactly partying like it’s 4704.

I found out that I make this weird noise when I cry, which sounds a little like something Squeaky does on turns. I have also developed a fixation on our last events, like some kind of crazed anti-memorybook. Our Last WarCraft Night. Our Last Diner Trip. I feel like one of the Sex and the City girls, destoying a perfectly fine night with my relationship neurosis, until Stick practically holds a filibuster on what to eat for Our Last Order-In And Play Computer Games Night.

I finally said goodbye to Stick and I drove to New Jersey, on my Last Trip in Squeaky, the two of us making the same noises.

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Missionary Work

This weekend Stick and I went to Steph and Jeff’s house for a boardgame sleepover. We played some party games like Taboo and led into more gamer-ish games like Betrayal At The House On The Hill. I usually think of Avalon Hill games as a bridge between family games like Life or Battleship and hardcore strategy games. There’s usually some strategy involved, but not so intense and complicated that you can’t chat and play at the same time.

Stick and I were the Cranium masters!!! If you haven’t played Cranium, you should definately check it out.  Cranium is the Mensa love-child of Trivia Pursuit, charades, Pictionary and Scrabble, with simple rules and lots of ridiculous questions. Although Stick seemed to think we were playing full-contact charades, which was extra amusing when he tried to convey the concept of “missionary”. It is a testament to how well I was raised that I did NOT pick up on it.

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Lychee Lip Gloss

I got a call from my employment agency in China today. On the plus side, they’ve done this a million times before and are totally confident. Unfortunately, I haven’t and I’m not. So he’s saying things like “Z-visa” and I’m thinking things like What if I can’t get flavored chapsticks in China? I wonder if my mom would ship them to me… Maybe there’s a Chinese Bonne Bell and they come in lychee and green tea flavors. It is this kind of maturity which makes me an excellent teacher candidate for any high school.

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Too Skeski For This Shard

Stick, Hugo, Diana and I spent today recoving for last night and watching The Dark Crystal, which prompted Stick to come up with one of his greatest songs ever:

I’m too Skeski for this shard, too Skeski for this shard, too Skeski by far.

I think he is a genius. And now he’s redeemed himself for singing “Fat bottomed Megs, you make my rocking world go round” the other day.

And there’s a Dark Crystal Sequel in production!

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