Jigga…. jigga….

Posted on November 2, 2007 by Meg

The other day, I saw some new fruit at the vendor by our house. I asked for two of the small yellow apples, so Stick and I could try the crazy new things, and the vendor started to laugh. He knew what I meant, and got them for me, but all the while laughing and telling his friend “The foreign woman says [Chinese name for not-apples] are apples!”

This is what kills my Chinese learning. I saw something new, expressed what I wanted, was understood, and I STILL got laowai giggles. I may as well point and hold up two fingers.

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Violet Eclipse Reviewed

Posted on November 2, 2007 by Meg

Our Blog Review.Com reviewed Violet Eclipse the other day!

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That’s Not Broken!

Posted on November 1, 2007 by Meg

Last night Stick and I passed a street vendor with a cart full of china. I found a blue-and-white mug, just right for holding toothbrushes in our turtle tank bathroom, but then I noticed a flaw on the glaze. Nothing major, just a little irregularity in the blue printing and a little bump in the white glaze. I pointed it out to the vendor hoping he had another mug like it, without the deformed part, or that he was going to offer me enough of a discount to make me turn that spot towards the bathroom wall.

“Mei shi,” he said (this means “no problem” and is pronounced “Mei shRRR” in Beijing), touching the spot with his finger.

He tried to explain why it was no problem, and not bu hao, as I was insisting, but it was beyond my Chinese. When he realized that I wasn’t following him, he finally rubbed the cup on his cheek to show us that the bad glaze job won’t hurt us!

Despite his excellent salesmanship, we decided NOT to buy it.

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Not Quite New Jersey

Posted on October 31, 2007 by Meg

While my taxi this morning was stuck in traffic, we were passed by a horse-drawn produce cart. I wasn’t surprised to see it, but did it have to be going faster than I was?

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Feed The Foreigners!

Posted on October 30, 2007 by Meg

The Muslim Noodle Shop just got better. I think I’ve mentioned that I love this place, partly because the food is almost always delicious, partly because it’s cheap, but mostly because the staff doesn’t laugh hysterically at my attempts to speak Chinese. They actually go out of their way to figure out which dish I mean when I say the main ingredients.

We have dishes we always order, but we like to see what people at other tables are eating or what looks good going past, and order a bowl of that, too. Most people are really friendly, they tell us what they’re eating and that it’s really good and we should get it, or if I don’t understand what’s in it, they offer us a bite. And our usual waitress recommends dishes for us.

Today Stick and I went there for lunch, and while we were waiting for our beef-and-potatoes to arrive, another customer walked over with his bowl of spicy tofu. He asked if we wanted some, and before I could say “huh?,” he scooped tofu into each of our bowls!

Hey, foreigners, try this!

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Class 1

Posted on October 29, 2007 by Meg

My kids showing me a song and dance they learned in Chinese class… then getting camera shy.

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Worth every feng.

Posted on October 28, 2007 by Meg

Stick and I just spent almost 150 RMB on imported cheese.

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Auchan Shopping Adventures

Posted on October 28, 2007 by Meg

If you liked the Great Wall Of Cereal, you should see the security-tagged booze selection at the Auchan.

Auchan is a French-owned grocery, which means they have bread that tastes like bread. Stick and I were buying a loaf when the baker shouted at us to wait. I wondered if bread was yet another item that can’t be purchased at the register, but he came back with a fresh baguette for us. Amazing!

There’s also a section of imported food. It’s an eclectic assortment of kimchi jars, Dijon mustard, ketchup, Earl Grey tea bags, pasta, cans of preserved olives and sardines. Anything foreign that doesn’t need refrigeration. No American desserts, but we were thrilled by the European cakes and cookies. (I studied in England and Stick was in the military in Germany, so some of these are home foods to us)

Unfortunately I was fooled by donuts that looked exactly like Dunkin’ Donuts deliciousness, down to the last rainbow sprinkle, but tasted like steamed bread fried in lard. Can’t win them all.

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The Four Humors

Posted on October 27, 2007 by Meg

“You should teach them to put their finger under each word when they chant, so the parents will know their children know English,” one of the TAs suggested yesterday. She went on to explain that this is not reading, and any further attempts by me to teach the children to read will not be appreciated.

She needed to add that, because I have already been reprimanded for starting to teach my kids to read, which is forbidden for year one. Obviously. And the whole phonics thing? Why I am making noises with my mouth when I should be having my 6-year-olds memorize for their exams? Seriously, I claim to have teaching experience and this is what I come up with?

Sometimes I feel like a modern-day doctor visiting the middle ages. When I try to suggest the occasional hand-washing, they’re all “What are you talking about, crazy woman? Bleed the patient! Haven’t you ever heard of the four humors? What do they teach you those so-called medical schools? Thank goodness you have us to keep you from doing any real damage!”

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Symbolism

Posted on October 24, 2007 by Meg

This is a flashcard from the English book my students do with their Chinese English teachers. I don’t know which is more telling, that someone chose Mickey Mouse as the emblem of America (instead of, say, a map) or that, on closer inspection, that’s not really Mickey.

So the symbol my students are keying to my home is a Chinese knockoff of a Disney product.

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