Cranberry Sauce

Some of my students asked me about Thanksgiving, and I tried to give them a good description of the holiday’s history and it’s current incarnation, while hoping they wouldn’t equate Thanksgiving with their foreign teachers singing bits of Livin’ On A Prayer in the office and giggling. My Korean students, who know my dislike for three-quarters of the food in Yantai, love asking me about American food. I think it’s their way of tormenting me for all the grammar-related hell I force on them.

They understood a turkey, and pies, but they laughed when I explained stuffing. You take a big loaf of bread, then cut it up small, let it go stale and dry, then make it wet again with broth, and then you bake it again. No, kids, it’s very different from bread. Really.

As for cranberry sauce, I explained that we take a small, tart berry, that only grows in specific environmental conditions in one part of the country, then we cook it with enough sugar to make it sweet, and ship it out the non-Cape Cod part of the US. They thought that was even funnier.

Which got me thinking… If a hard winter for a few pilgrims turned an almost inedible cranberry into a national delicacy, is it any wonder that with a huge population and decades of hunger, the Chinese can turn anything that’s not actually poisonous into dinner?

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Foreigners’ Blogs Talking About China

I just came across this Chinese site about foreign blogs.

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Foreigner’s Blogs Talking about China

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Talk Talk China ?????, The Vortext, Sinosplice, Shanghai diaries and
Mask of China are all mentioned.

Of course, I’m most interested in what “Violet Eclipse—???????????meg???” means.

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Why Did the Lao Wai Cross The Road?

Today I was crossing the road in front of my school (in a crosswalk — old habits die hard) when a taxi honked at me. The honking barely registered until the driver pulled a U-turn, blocked traffic in both directions as well as my path across the street, and shouted “Hello taxi hello!”

And just when I was going to post about unmotivated employees.

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Born In The USA

It was awesome having Pseudo-Thanksgiving with my Yantai friends. Ron and his wife brought their new baby so in some ways it really was like a family. A crazy dysfunctional family, with a lot of alcohol and trashtalk, but still.

We got takeaway from the Korean place near the school, something that’s almost like American barbequed chicken. Will put on a DVD of music videos, to make our T-day even more American. Nirvana, Fleetwood Mac, Springsteen and Bon Jovi. The MTV actually made it surreal, because I could remember hearing that Kurt Cobain was dead, and now I’m watching his videos on Thanksgiving in China a decade later.

There was a bit of the inevitable imagining what our families were doing now. Right now, my mom’s on page two, line twelve, of the Thanksgiving List. What’s your family doing? Later we had an American chocolate cake, only it was actually a chocolate-tomato cake.

I brought my camera to record my crazy Yantai Thanksgiving, but unfortunately, my batteries died. I was annoyed, but three bottles of wine later, when we were singing Bon Jovi and Springsteen, and I might have been showing my Jersey Girl roots just a little bit, I was glad there was no camera around.

This morning, I called my folks and heard the whole room shouting “Happy Thanksgiving To Meg Now!” See, my mom brought the phone into the dining room and told everyone to… oh never mind.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

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It’s All True

I wrote this a few days ago but I made it sticky to faciliate the flame war make it easier for folks coming over from Sinosplice.

One thing that about learning Chinese that makes me crazy is that there seems to be no definitive correct answer. The pronunciation that one cabbie tells me is almost as good as Da Shan’s, leaves another staring and repeating ting bu dong. Some of it’s caused by regional dialects; a town only an hour away might speak the Mandarin equivalent of cockney rhyming slang. (Ok, I’m exaggerating. Surely that’s Shanghainese!) Even common words like thank you are used differently by different people, all of whom insist that they’re saying it at the right times and everyone else is needlessly formal or rurally rude. And of course, xiaojie either means waitress or hooker, depending on who you ask.

The language contradictions are just a warm-up for all the contradictions in China. China has 5,000 years of culture and etiquette. Chinese people spit bones out on the tablecloth.

China is so safe, a girl could walk alone at night without worrying she’d be attacked or robbed. China is so dangerous, she might fall into a gaping hole in the middle of the sidewalk, left but the constant construction.

Chinese people are the hardest-working people I’ve ever seen. People like Juice Aunt and her husband are outside with their cart, all day, every day, no matter what the weather is. But Chinese people are the laziest people I’ve ever seen. I’ve gone into restaurants and seen the staff asleep on the dining tables.

More and more people in China speak English. If you consider HULLOR! and You buy? English.

I wonder if Middle Kingdom actually means Average of Two Extremes Kingdom.

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Yantai Museum

If you find the drop spindles underwhelming, there was also a dusty jawbone of a whale, and a preserved seaturtle. The weird exhibits are arranged around a courtyard with a garden and a temple. The garden was impressive, even in November, and the temple and the gates were worth the visit.

Close up on the painted figure from the doorway (mostly for my mom to see).

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How Can I Leave?

Yesterday, I was handing out new schedules in my Drips class, thinking about how great it is to be at a school with actual schedules.
“This class is becoming too big,” I told my kids. “Starting Saturday, there will be two classes of four students, instead of one class of eight.” (Remember when I was lecturing to over 100 students per class?)
“Can I be in your class?” asked one of my students, looking at the new class lists.
“I’m in B, are you teaching B?”
“Will you still be my teacher?”
“Can you teach A ’cause I’m in A?”
“I want to be in Meg’s class!”

To be honest, this isn’t even my favorite class. I usually call them the Drips or the Bumps (short for Bumps On A Log, which is their participation level). But, man, yesterday’s class is really making it hard to leave.

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Lost In Translation

The other day, I picked up the first season of Lost at my local DVD shop. I watched it in Mandarin with English subtitles. Sometimes I do that to improve my comprehension, it’s very passive learning but it does help me pick out words I know.

Lucky for me, the first two episodes are a lesson in using zh? dao (I know) and zai n?r (where is?), with all personal pronouns and variations. The entire dialogue is like a Pimsleur-style language drill:

Where are we?
I don’t know where we are.
Do you know where we are?
Where is Jack?
I don’t know where he is.
Kate knows where he is.
They don’t know we are here.
He doesn’t know where you are.
She knows where we are.
I know you know where she is.

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Pepero Day

Today all my Korean kids came to class wearing traditional Korean dresses and eating this amazing candy called pepero.

Pepero is a Korean version of a chocolate-covered pretzel. Or chocolate-pretzels are the Amewrican version of pepero. Either way, pepero is an awesome cookie, chocolate, and nuts combination. And four sticks of pepero look just like today’s date, 11/11, so everyone should eat lots of pepero to celebrate.

You say Armistice Day, I say chocolate-eating day. Just another cultural difference on this side of the planet.

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Red Fire Fire

Red Fire Fire is a local BBQ and beer shop. Even though it’s just down the street from my house, my co-workers Debra and Junie had to introduce me to it. It’s famous for 3 kwai beer, cheap barbecue and cheap seafood. I happen to hate seafood but I love reading Red Fire Fire on the sign.


The street barbecue

People back home seem to think I am exaggerating when I talk about cocoon food. I could write a thousand words on why I don’t need to exaggerate in Yantai, but instead, I’ll let this photo do the arguing for me. (They’re extra fresh! Try one!)

If you don’t like Yantai beer, there’s also a selection of paint thinners nail polish removers toxic chemicals bai jiu. Hello Kitty likes the harder stuff.

Beautiful foreign women drink Yantai beer!
(Dorothy and I might drink a little too much 3 RMB beer…)

Zorro: I think I’m drunk. I can feel my brain.

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