Or my kids playing Verb Charades.
Stick On Life In China
“The next time I play Civ, I’m going to NOT develop Alphabet and see how far my civilization can go.”
Posted in New York City
Tagged China, Chinese life, Civilization, life in China, New York City, Stick
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The Ministry Of Silly Walks
I have a student, we’ll call him Alex, since that’s what I think his English name is supposed to be. Whenever Alex goes up to the board to answer a question, he wants to hop or skip or crawl or dance back to his seat. He’s not the only student who does this, in fact most of my boys have tried it once, but stopped when I scolded them.
So every day, sometimes more than once, I say “Alex! Come back here and walk properly!” This isn’t exactly the kids’ vocabulary, but my tone and their knowledge that you’re really not supposed to be robot-walking around the room gets it across. It causes the embarrassed floor-stare but never the blank look that means I’ve spoken too much of the barbarian tongue.
Anyway, today Alex went to the front of the room, and showed us Square and Circle. When he turned to go back to his seat, he lifted his arms like a cartoon runner.
Before he could move, though, a little girl shouted “Alex! Come back here and walk properly!”
Margaritaville, Beijing
Mexican Wave
Dongdaqiao Lu opposite the Silk Market
200m north of Gui You Department Store,
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We decided to go to Mexican Wave mostly because it’s near the Sour Cream Emporium, that is, the Friendship Store.
Inside, the place was like any little Mexican joint at home, with ads for Mexican beer on the walls and a guitar player. The menu is pretty extensive, with typical dishes like enchiladas and burritos as well as less-Mexican options like burgers and jamabalaya, and of course, pizza. (Why does every Western-ish restaurant offer pizza?) Our waitress spoke decent English, and she was helpful about getting our difficult customer fed.
The appetizers we tried, stuffed jalepenos and chicken taquitos, were amazing. The only way the appetizers could have been improved is by offering a sampler plate to combine all of the options.
The margaritas were fantastic as well. Let’s be honest here, margaritas and guacamole are the best things about Mexican restuarant! There are all kinds of flavored margaritas, and there’s also a selection of beers and cocktails in case you don’t share my love for the margarita.
Sadly, the entrees were second-rate versions of typical dishes, which came all with “Spanish rice,” a sticky rice compote with bits of tomato, potato and the ubiquitious corn, as well as “refried beans,” a black bean puree. Very disappointing, especially after the fantastic starters.
Cleanest bathrooms since the Vegetarian and Tea place. Plus there was a cool Aztec-looking design on the wall.
I’d go there again, mostly for the margaritas but also to try some of the appetizers we didn’t get to sample.
Hello Kitty Chinglish
I got a pack of Hello Kitty reward stickers at the supermarket to give to my students. (I have one class with three girls called Kitty, and that makes saying “Hello, Kitty!” hilarious.) It was an assortment of stickers, with normal ones like Nice Work, Well Done and Super!, but there were also some unusual ones…
Good things, if not how I usually praise my students. I especially like Love Reading, partly because that’s what my teachers would have stuck on my papers if they had the Hello Kitty assortment pack, and partly because it sounds like an imperative. I guess Adamancy could go either way, either dedicated or stubborn.
But I think I’ll save this one for the bad kids:
My TA said that the Chinese means “soft” or “tender”… I can imagine how that translation came about.
Chinese speaker: What do you call this congee?
English speaker: Bland.
Posted in New York City
Tagged chinese, Chinese life, Chinglish, e3, Hello Kitty, my students, New York City, reading, Stick
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Crisis Averted
I left to go to my meeting WITHOUT A SHOWER or WASHING MY FACE, and when I was at school, I told Stick that we have no water. Stick’s class had finished, so he went home to fix it.
I guess I kind of left all the taps in the ON position. Not intentionally, just because while I was freaking out about the lack of water, I turned the taps on and off about a hundred times and I guess I forgot which is on and which is off. Anyway, Stick got home and he went to investigate the plumbing situation, and rusty, dirty water started to drip out of all the taps. Luckily he came home and shut them off before the rusty water started to pour out of everything!
However, Stick was so excited at the prospect of fixing the plumbing that he decided to do something that involves a screwdriver and taking the showerhead apart and now not only do we have hot water (so what if it’s a little brown?), but we have water pressure!
Stick would like you all to know that he is very handy around the house.
Why No One Here Likes Morning Showers
Because you might wake up and have no water in the apartment!
I woke up and there was water to make the coffee. Then I did a little work in my bathrobe, until it was time to wake up Stick to take his shower. There was water then, the bathroom tile is still wet from Stick’s shower, but now nothing’s coming out of any of the faucets! Not the shower, the bathroom sink or the kitchen tap either. Which means no second cup of coffee, but that’s probably ok since I can’t brush my teeth, either!
I knew I shouldn’t have been nice to Stick! Why did I let him shower first?
That Time Of Year
Our school’s putting up their Christmas decorations, which always makes me hungry for latkes. Cooking them was bit of an adventure… I can get good potatoes, onions, eggs and oil at the market by the apartment, but the lox and sour cream required a trip across town.
These are not the most photogenic latkes in the world, but they may be the most photogenic ones in China!
The Open-Door Policy
Long before I came to China, I saw pictures of the old-fashioned Chinese homes. I loved the semi-enclosed porches, roofed patios, open-air stairs… like the kind you kind in Beihai Park. I loved that the distinction between inside and outside was so fluid.
The beautiful fluidity is less attractive when it’s December and no one shuts the door. The main doors to our school are kept (or left?) open, and so are the doors to the playground. This means that the hallways are a constant wind tunnel of freezing cold, and the leaves blow in with the cold air.
I always shut my classroom door, but anyone else who comes in after me, whether it’s a student, teacher or board-of-Ed VIP observing the American teacher, leaves it open. They will close it if I ask, open doors are not mandatory, but it’s not an automatic part of coming in from the cold.
A Chinese childhood is different from an American one in so many ways. I can imagine life wwithout cheese. I can imagine politely spitting bones on the tablecloth, I can even imagine making the Mandarin tones properly, but I can’t imagine growing up without hearing “You think we should pay to heat all of New Jersey?”, “You want to let all the heat out?” or the summertime equivalent, “You think we’re air-conditioning the whole town?” or the all-season, all-purpose “Shut the door!”
And without slamming doors, how does a Chinese teenager express annoyance?
Posted in New York City
Tagged Beihai park, China, chinese, Chinese life, Eric, mandarin, New Jersey, New York City
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Small Miracles
Today I was buying vegetables and when I paid, the woman said it’s very cold today, and I said, yes it is.
I don’t know if I’m happier that I was treated like a regular person, or that I actually understood something non-essential. Today is a great day.
